“This is horrible,” Cid says.
Cid and Marcel exchange glares. I am back on Marcel’s section of the train again. I have told them everything that my father told me. I told them about my father’s ploy. I tell them that my father met me to tell me that I should divorce Marcel.
“Are you going to do it?” Marcel asks.
He looks over at me. For a minute I’m confused. No one else is around or listening besides Cid but Marcel speaks so low that his voice is almost a whisper. He looks at me curiously…maybe even suspiciously as he says it.
“Do what?” I ask.
“Are you going to divorce me? Are you going to marry Lexus Lucius?”
I can’t believe Marcel is really asking me this right now. I hadn’t even thought about doing something like that. It hadn’t even ran across my mind. The way he’s looking at me right now though is almost as though he believes that I am about to go ahead and do that.
“Why would I do that?” I ask him.
“Why wouldn’t you?” he replies raising an eyebrow, “Clearly my popularity is dropping. I’m the candidate that cheats on his husband. Everyone hates me. Just makes me think—this would be a great time to jump ship. Like your father said.”
Cid looks at me silently. They are so used to people being shady with them. They are so used these backstabbing politics that they really think I’m that type of person.
“I’m not my father,” I reply shaking my head.
“I don’t know if I trust that…” Marcel states, “Cid, yes or no? If Lexus decides to drop out of the primaries and runs as my father’s vice president there would be no way to beat them.”
Cid nodded, “You’re right. He’ll most likely drop out in the Educational District. It’ll be damn near impossible to beat Nazarious and Lexus on the same ticket.”
Marcel nods, “So excuse me if I seem a little suspicious.”
I look at him thinking this has to be some sort of joke or something. I feel like Marcel is pulling my leg.
“Out of everyone here I have been honest. You guys are the ones with your plans and maneuvers. I’m not a liar. I have no reason to lie about this!”
I’m standing up at that moment. A part of me wants to take a nearby glass of water and spill it in Marcel’s face. He still has the ability to piss me off unlike anyone else I’ve ever met. He still finds a way to get under my skin. I can feel my heart racing being even near him. I’ve raised my voice so much that other people in the room turn to look at me.
“Guys let’s all calm down,” Cid says.
“I’m calm. He’s the one getting defensive and raising his voice,” Marcel replies, “I just asked him a simple question.”
Marcel’s voice is so calm. He is a politician and a good one. He knows how to get under your skin without raising his voice. Here I am screaming at the top of my lungs and I can’t help myself. I just look at Marcel’s handsome fucking face and his suave fucking glare. It pisses me off that he has this effect on me to continually take me out of character.
I try to lower my voice but it doesn’t work. It just gets louder and louder, “You’re insinuating I’ll backstab our deal!”
Marcel crosses his arms as cool as ever. Me screaming in his face is making me look more stupid and probably feeding to his goddam ego.
Marcel raises his hands, “I’m not accusing you. I’m just saying. People are shady nowadays. I can’t be too careful.”
“The person who is shady is your boyfriend. That’s whose shady. He planned with my father to go against you the entire time.”
Silence. Throwing this in his face FINALLY shut up Marcel. He just stared with this dumb expression.
“Ok enough…” Cid starts up again.
“No. It’s not enough Cid,” I tell him before turning to Marcel, “I know the truth. Don’t you think I know about the fact that you planned on divorcing me and marrying him? Now all of a sudden the tables turn. All of a sudden I can divorce you…”
‘THEN FUCKING DO IT!” Marcel says.
He finally snaps. He is so upset that as he walks away he knocks of a poor guy who looks like an intern spilling coffee all over the floor. A couple people watch Marcel’s explosion. It’s rare that Marcel gets so angry.
I know it’s petty but for some reason I feel vindicated. I feel like Marcel actually feels how I felt at this moment. He’s pissed and he’s showing it clear as day.
“You feel better now?” Cid says.
It’s almost like he can read my mind.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I reply.
I’m lying though. I know exactly what he’s talking about. I’m staring at the door that Marcel just walked out of to another part of the train. I’m angry, sad, and overall just annoyed by the situation. Marcel put me in this situation. And if this was business then our constant flirting needed to stop completely.
“You have that effect on him,” Cid tells me, “That just means he cares. I know this is business or what not but it’s ok if you care as well. You know?”
“I don’t care. It’s just business,” I reply.
“Positive,” I reply.
“Well then I have a plan…”
We arrived in the Education District the following afternoon. The Education district looked a lot like it sounded. As our train pulled up I watched from the Observation deck all these different schools around the city. Students filtered the streets. It looked more like a military place than anything like that.
“Shouldn’t you be with your husband?” a voice said.
I turned at that moment to see him. Lexus Lucius. The man with the slanted eyes and dark skin. He stands next to me at the Observational windows looking down at the city below our floating train tracks.
“I don’t think he misses me much.”
Lexus shakes his head, “I know it comes as a surprise what he did. I’m sorry I had to expose it like that. This is the game, you know. All’s fair. You know?”
“I wasn’t surprised he cheated. Marcel always thinks about himself,” I reply shaking my head, “It’s nice to have some time away from him and all that. Just some time alone.”
I stare back out at the city below us. There are no slums. There are no people begging for food. There is no litter. There is no crime. There is no poverty. It’s a utopia of learning.
“It’s strange isn’t it? The Educational District. New gays come here to get rebranded and learn about their heritage. They are educated. All the straightness is scrubbed out of them. I hear you didn’t go through the process. You were much too old when you found out you were a 6. Trust me, you’re not missing much.”
I look over at Lexus, “You can get straightness scrubbed out of you?”
“Oh yes, absolutely. Re-education. The straights don’t know anything really. Nazarious wants to put them in work prisons. I just want to get rid of the whole lot. If I were president anyone who wasn’t gay would just be killed.”
Lexus says it with a smile on his face in a way that I don’t know if he’s joking or telling the truth. I just listen to him none-the-less.
This part of the convo makes me a little nervous so I just change the subject, “Speaking of Nazarious he spoke to me…about something. He says that he made a deal with you.”
“My proposal…so to speak?” he asks.
“You want me to divorce my husband and marry you?” I ask Lexus.
He smiles for a moment and looks around…”Not here. Follow me…”
I follow Lexus closely. As shady as Lexus Lucius was he was even more attractive. That was one thing I could not take from him.
We ended up in a tight storage room away from everyone else. His eyes look over at me. He smells good. He smells clean and bold. He has an edgy look, completely different from the All-American look that Marcel has. As we stand in this storage room he glares at me for a second leans over and becomes himself.
“I have to admit to you that I’ve been attracted to you ever since I saw you with Marcel at the brunch,” Lexus explains.
“Did you?” I ask him.
He nods, “I know Marcel. We were in this district together. We were in the same school. We were in the same class. Always bitter rivals. And he’s always been in my shadow. I am a better man than he is. You should know that.”
“People say Marcel was leading in the polls so far.”
“Leading or not I am a winner,” Lexus replies, “Besides. He cheated on you. Did you forget that? Why stay with him after that?”
“Perhaps you’re right…” I reply.
He rubs his fingers up against the side of my face with this sexy fearlessness. I can’t help but to kiss him. I can’t help but to put my mouth on his mouth.
I put my all into the kiss. More passion than I ever had. I’d only had sex once and I didn’t remember it but after years of being backed up being locked in a room with the likes of Lexus Lucius wasn’t so bad.
Before I knew it Lexus was unbuttoning my shirt. His tongue made soft circles around my neck and he slowly went lower and lower sucking on my nipples. I could feel myself squirm a little bit at that moment. It felt so good. I had to admit. Lexus was strong too. I could feel his arms directing me. He pressed me up against the wall.
“You taste so good,” he tells me.
I smile and then moan a little bit. It comes naturally. I can feel him continue to push up against me grinding. His body is solid. He’s a little slimmer than Marcel but just as solid. As he presses up against me I can feel that his dick is fully hard. He presses it through the crevices of my inner thigh and rubs up and down. The friction causes me to get turned on even further.
In the next few minutes he turns me around. My chest is pressed against the wall…
“Wait stop,” I say.
I moan when I say it though. I know it doesn’t sound convincing and I’m sure that is the reason he doesn’t stop. He bends down. His handsome face is massaged up against my ass cheeks now. He lowers my pants with his teeth. My pants are two my ankles and I moan again. This time I’m so loud I assume someone walking past would have surely heard.
In the next few seconds Lexus has his tongue in my ass. The wet feeling that I’ve never felt before makes my body shivers. He starts to lick desperately, almost as though trying to prove a point.
“Am I better than him?”
I don’t know what to say. I know he’s referring to Marcel. This has to be some sort of self-esteem thing for Lexus to be better than Marcel. I’m not really sure to be honest.
I mutter, “Yes. Oh yes.”
Mostly I mutter it because I am enjoying the feeling of his tongue between my cheeks. He licks furiously at my hole wetting it. Little does he know I don’t remember having sex with Marcel. Little does he know the only intimacy I’d had in my arranged scam marriage was a drunk night that I never spoke of after that.
Lexus has me wanting to orgasm just from eating me out. I can feel it through my groin area first but then the feeling branches out to all parts of my body.
Finally I manage to stop him, “Stop.”
“What? Why I thought you wanted this,” He replies.
“I do. At least I think I do. I don’t have sex unless I’m married.”
“That can be arranged,” he replies.
“I don’t know,” I reply, “I’ve always dreamt about being a First husband.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You know. Marcel is going to try to run to be president. He isn’t settling for a Vice presidency. Isn’t that what you are settling for…”
Lexus pauses for a moment, “I’m not settling. Nazarius is probably going to win the election anyway. I’m just making sure I’m on the winning team. Plus he said he would hook me up with you. I’m winning if you ask me…”
“You need to be impressing me, not my deadbeat father,” I reply, “That is…if you’re really interested in me. I’m a 6. Nazarius and Marcel both have dropping popularities. You don’t need my father.”
“You’re telling me I shouldn’t run with your father,” he states and then stops, “I…I’m not interested in losing this presidential race with nothing.”
I pause for a minute, “Well…I’m not interested in the number 2 spot.”
I can tell he is about to say something else but I don’t respond to him. I just walk out, leaving him there with blue balls and a lot to think about…
I walk to the next train only to see Cid. He gazes at me. I know he’s alone. He has that same Cid “devious” look on his face. I expected him to be waiting for an update. I didn’t expect him to be here so quickly. The look on his face seems to say it all though as he stares at me.
“Did my plan work?” he asks.
“I’m not sure,” I reply, “I guess only time will tell. I feel like shit using him like that though…”
Cid shakes his head, “Lexus is an ego-maniac. The idea of Marcel not only being married, but being married to a 6 and possibly becoming president is more than Lexus can take. He’ll want you just for that fact. Don’t look at it the wrong way. Lexus only wants to use you. We have to use him first…”
I sigh. He explained this all to me before but it’s still hard.
“I’m just not that kind of person.”
Cid doesn’t seem interested, “Listen. We have to do what we have to do. If Lexus sticks with Nazarius we’ve already lost. So all you have to do is turn him against your father. And we can just keep this between us. Our little secret.”
I got back to Marcel’s part of the train. I looked around for a minute. I wondered if Marcel was around but after looking around for a few minutes it was clear that he wasn’t.
I did see Silk however. As I walk up to him he doesn’t say Hi or treat me the way he normally does. He gives me this judgmental look that is as cold as ice.
“You smell like sex.”
“They upgraded your nose too?” I ask him.
He shoots me a look, “No. Believe it or not I know what sex smells like. I also know well enough that you and your husband weren’t around each other. So who was it?”
Silk stares hard at me.
I try to ignore the question as my face flushes with embarrassment, “Where is Marcel?”
“You’re avoiding the question,” Silk stated shaking his head, “I saw you. I saw you in the room with that other candidate. Then I saw you go talk to Cid. What are you up to for these people?”
“You spying on me Silk?” I ask raising an eyebrow.
“I’m trying to save you. Remember. That’s all I’ve ever tried to do. You’re losing yourself Marx. You are becoming one of them. I don’t even recognize you anymore. I’m just here to save you. That’s all I’m trying to do.”
The way Silk looks at me pisses me off. He looks like he is really concerned. I can see it even with his cyborg eye staring back at me. I feel self-conscious all of a sudden. Maybe he’s right. I’m definitely doing some desperate things.
I literally just had sex with a man in order to help Marcel get re-elected. I was definitely doing desperate things.
“Where’s Marcel?” I ask Silk again.
“Where do you think?” Silk asked, “He went off with that guy Florian. Dinner. That’s what it was most likely. You know what happens with these gays after dinner don’t you? They are probably fucking now…”
Silk look so disgusted. He was always disgusted by everything gay. Nothing changed with him. But the truth was at this moment…at this very moment I was disgusted too.
“He’s back with him?”
“Did you think he was going to be waiting on you?” Silk replied, “I told you that you needed to leave. I told you…”
He’s surprised that I say it. I’m surprised that I say it too. The more I’m sitting here thinking about it, I’m catching feelings for Marcel. I’m catching feelings for him while he is out running around with Florian yet again. Every moment I am realizing that Marcel is not going to leave Florian. He’s not going to leave someone he has real feelings for to be exclusive with someone he’s only pretending to be interested in.
I knew what I signed up for.
But every moment got harder. I needed to get out of here. And it was clear that my relationship with Silk wasn’t the same because of it. Someone who I considered one of my best friends was looking at me like he didn’t recognize me.
“I’ll go with you,” I tell Silk, “Let’s get out of here…”
“Go pack only what you need. We are already docked. I’ll find a way to get out of here.”
“Where will we go?” I ask Silk.
Silk doesn’t seem concerned, “Does it matter? Anywhere away from these horrible people. Anywhere would be better than here. Wouldn’t it?”
He was so disgusted by the gays. I wondered why I wasn’t too. It wasn’t disgust that I was running. I was running to save my own emotions. I couldn’t help having feelings for Marcel. I was doing crazy things that I would never do just for him. I was losing myself like Silk said.
I had to get out of here.
I had to run.
“I’ll be down in a second…” I tell him.
I got upstairs to the sleeping quarters of the huge train. I grab only a few things. Some of the clothes that the lesbians picked out for me go in the bag. A few other trinkets. I’m not sure how I’ll survive. I don’t have any money. I was completely reliant on Marcel. Still…I’ve survived before.
I know if I leave I don’t have deal with the heartbreak of Marcel always going back to Florian. I know I don’t have to use myself in one of Cid’s many antics. I know that I can survive with Silk somehow. He’s the only one here I trust out of all of them.
I have to leave.
I just have to.
I find myself walking back downstairs.
“Silk I’m ready to go,” I tell him.
He’s doesn’t respond right away. He’s staring at something. As I get down the stairs I realize it isn’t something he’s staring at but instead someone. Marcel is back. Marcel is standing by the exit. His forehead wrinkles in confusion.
He looks from Silk to me.
“Where are you going?” Marcel asked.
I choke on my tongue not expecting Marcel to be here. He’s dressed in a suit. He looks like the same regal, classy Marcel that he always has been. His eyes looking at me causes my heart to beat harder a couple of times. I feel stuck a little bit.
“He doesn’t have to answer to you anymore,” Silk says.
“I’m not talking to you. Robot. I’m talking to my husband,” Marcel responds sharply before turning to me and wrinkling up his forehead again, “Marx. Where are you going?”
He breathes heavy. His heart is weighing over this situation.
“You…you’re leaving me?” he asks.
“I have to.”
“Please don’t do this.”
Marcel seems humble at this moment. While he looks at me so humbly I am almost lost in him. He’s so handsome. He’s so amazingly the best looking man I’d ever met. His strong features soften and become almost like a lost puppy at the thought of me leaving. I could feel my heart beating trying to be strong.
I almost give in but quickly snap out of it.
“That’s not fair,” I respond to Marcel, “I’m tired of being a pawn. I’m tired of—”
“You’re not a pawn,” Marcel replies cutting me off mid-sentence, “I came here to let you know I had feelings for you.”
“Feelings. Real feelings. You’re the only real person I’ve met since…ever. You’re the only person who doesn’t have an agenda. You’re a little bit of reality in my fake world.”
He looks at me. He’s sure. I don’t understand. I’m lost.
“You’re saying this but you just went to dinner with Florian?”
“I went to dinner with Florian to let him know it’s over,” Marcel responds, “Once and for all it’s over. I want to get to know you and I mean it. I want to…pursue something with you. Not something fake. Not something for the cameras. I want to pursue something with you…Marx.”
“He’s lying,” Silk states.
By this time Silk couldn’t give a damn that Marcel was his employer. He stands there boldly. His cold cyborg eyes stare at Marcel. He’s not trying to defend me. He’s trying to defend my sexuality. He refuses to listen to this gay talk.
I look over at Marcel. I want to believe it. I want to believe him.
“How do I know you aren’t just using me? How do I know you aren’t just saying this because you don’t want to lose your advantage in this race?”
I stare at his eyes trying to see if Marcel is trying to tell the truth. I know and he knows that if I divorce him he’d lose this race.
Marcel takes a few steps towards me. He’s blocked by Silk but we are close enough that I can tell he is telling me the truth.
Marcel shakes his head, “Because tomorrow I am announcing that I am dropping out of the presidential race.”