A Practical Guide to Shade, Chapter 10

Chapter 10

My name is Louvell.

Some people used to call me Lou.  Others used to call me Vell.

Master gives me one name and one name only.

“You look just like a doll.”

“I do?”

“Yes.  You know I collect dolls.   You’re one of my favorite dolls.  Boy #6.”

I wake up in a room that smells like semen.  When he calls me his favorite, I smile.  I believe him.  I haven’t bathed in days because I’d been restrained to what was only known as the Hall Monitor.  When you get out of line you get restrained to the Hall Monitor chair.  Random men would come in.  Guests of the master.  They would do what they want to me when they want to me for as long as they wanted and I was supposed to take it.

“Yes, Master?”

He’s standing at the doorway.  I don’t see his face but I know it’s him by his deep voice and the dark shadow that he casts across the room.  I’ve been locked in the dark room for a while now so the light blinds me a bit from the hallway.  He has a robe on.  I know what that means.

A ceremony.

“Come with me.”

He leads me down the hallway.  I look over at the Master.

“I think I saw Jean earlier…”

“You did.”

Oh great.  I knew how the master looked at me.  He preferred older men.  He preferred men who had status.  He loved taking them from their lives.  Training them to be exactly what he wanted them to be and then sending them back into the world.  He broke us to rebuild us.  I loved him for it.  I loved every part of him because of how he treated me.

The idea that a guy who looked like Jean was now a part of this made me feel…I don’t know.  Jealous.   Why Jean of all people?

“He’s not going to be good, master,” I explain, “He’s way too strong-willed.  Guys like that are used to the lights and camera.”

“Yes.  Lights,” the Master states, “You know why they call me Shade.  You ever wonder where I got the name from?”

“No, sir.”

We are walking down the hallway.  It’s silent until we get to the cabinet with the robes.  I knew what this meant.  I grab the robes.  They are red and oversized.  They swallow me whole.  They smell really old but anything for the master.

“Everyone loves the sun.  Or at least they thought they did.  Growing up all the other kids used to seek out the sun.  They would go out of their way to get out in it.  I always stayed in.  People don’t realize how dangerous the sun can be.  Eye disease, sunspots, aging, and even cancer.   I stayed in the shade always.  And sooner or later those same people who just loved the sun…sooner or later they all come to the shade.  Willingly or not.”

He looks back at me for a few seconds.  His eyes both powerful and intimidating.  He means every bit of it when he looks back at me.

He never shares much about himself so I wonder if he’s trusting me now.  He’s been spending more and more time with me especially when he set his eyes on getting revenge for Indigo.  He’d become somewhat obsessed with getting revenge for Indigo since the funeral.  There were times I’d hear him just stop fucking me and start cursing..angry at what they had done to Indigo.

That was the kind of person the Master was.  He took any aggression towards his boys personal.  You fucked with his boys and he would make you pay.  He’d always make you pay.

“He must be punished,” he explains to me before we walk up to a room, “Jean must beg for mercy for what he did to Indigo.  Only then will he be cleansed.”

We walk into the room and see the other boys in the room.  They are all in hoods. The hoods so big they swallow their faces and even their hands.   I look over and see Jean.

“What the fuck is this?” Jean is asking.

He’s butt naked.  He’s on a swing.  His hands and legs have been restrained.  I take my place among the other boys.  Most of them I don’t know.  Most of them I never have spoken to.   He doesn’t allow us to speak to one another unless we need to.  He doesn’t allow us to communicate unless it’s absolutely necessary.  Sometimes he lets us break the rules but even then the majority of the quieter boys refuse to speak.

“Louvell, remove your hood,” the master states.

I do what he says and I take off my hood.

When Jean sees me he starts crying, “I take it back.  Ok.  I take it back.  I don’t want to be here.  OK?  I don’t want to be here.”

“You came here willingly,” Shade states, “Begin.”

I know what he wants me to begin.   One of the boys steps forward and hands me a paddle.  It’s not a wooden paddle.  It’s metal.  When Jean sees that he gives me the hardest look.

“I swear to god…if you hit me with that Louvell I will make your life a living hell,” Jean threatens me.

He’s strong-willed.  He’s probably the most strong-willed boy that Shade has ever had.  I look back at the master.  I look at his face wondering if he’s having second thoughts about Jean.  Jean was the type to call the cops.  Maybe even worse.  He was the type to get the master arrested.  He was rich and powerful.  You didn’t do things like this to guys like Jean.

The master isn’t moved.  Not even a little bit.


I have no choice.  I look over to Jean and mutter the words sorry.  I know that he came willingly but it seems like this is passed something that he wanted to do.  He doesn’t seem like he would be interested in this.  None-the-less I hit him as hard as I can.   The paddle moves hard across his bare ass.   I watch him squirm in pain and spit on the ground.

“You spineless piece of shit.  I’m supposed to be your fucking friend and you’re doing what this fucking little dick piece of shit is asking you?”

He’s going off.  I’d never seen any of the boys talk like this before.  Usually, they cry.  Usually, they beg for someone to stop.  Not Jean though.  I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.  Jean is completely turned off by this.  He’s completely gone.

Hand the paddle to another boy.  This boy doesn’t remove his hood but I realize how Jean looks at him.  He must recognize something about the boy.  Maybe his height and his weight.  Maybe he recognizes the boys’ hands because all of a sudden Jean is going crazy.

“Khyree!  Khyree are you fucking kidding me?”


The smack is harder than the one I gave.  It goes harder.  I look over at Shade.  He leans up against the wall.  This is turning him on to see Jean like this.  I watch as Shade finds the nearest wall.  He unzips his robe and I realize he is completely naked underneath.  Nothing but hard abs and an even harder dick.  His stunning body kicks off as the back of his neck slides up against the wall.  His left arm is behind his neck in order to steady himself but his right arm begins to slide down those hard abs of his going into the brush of his pubic hair.  I can see all the other boys turning all in unison.

They are just as turned on as me.

We’re doing what we have to do to make the master happy.  We’re doing what we have to do for him to give us his white gold.


The more Jean resists, the more turned on the Master seems to get.  By now he is steadily jerking his dick pulling it out and stroking it.  I watch at how he aggressively masturbates.  Most people slide up and down their dicks but not Shade.  Shade is squeezing his dick.  Squeezing it out as though he’s milking a rough cow.  My own dick is getting hard underneath my robe.  I forget about the sounds of Jean being beaten by the paddles.  I forget about the ceremony.  At that moment it feels as though Shade and I are in this room alone.

The way he strokes.  The aggression.  The intensity of it all.  It drives me fucking crazy.

“On your knees.  Get the white gold.”

I might as well have had on kneepads by how fast I dive to the ground.  I see him look down on me.  His eyes connecting.  I’m desperate for his white gold.  I’m opening my mouth.  My tongue lapping out like some mad dog waiting for a snack.  I’m grabbing my hands and cupping them underneath my mouth.  I don’t want to miss a thing.

He chose me to get the white gold.  He chose me out of all the boys.

I was special to him.

“Give it to me master.”

That’s when he does it.  He explodes.  Squeezing the head of his dick until it turns red and explodes with the white gold.  The white gold comes out of his penis head and pours into my mouth.  I lap it up and drink some more.

I take it all in and when he’s almost done I quickly suck at his dick, pulling at it using my throat as a suction to get every last drop.  His dick tastes so good.  It’s not clean and boring.  His dick is salty and rude.  It’s strong.  The manly scent hits me like a brick wall.

That’s when Jean rolls his eyes, “You think that is going to break me?  It’s not you piece of shit. You could never break me.  Not ever.”

What was he thinking?  Didn’t he know who was in charge here?  The other boys seem to be in shock but I look over at the one I know now is Khyree.  He isn’t surprised.  Honestly, I shouldn’t be either.  This was Jean of all people.  He thought he ruled the world.  He was in for a rude awakening.  I look over and see the Master.  He loved a challenge.  At this point, he’s smirking as he removes his hood.

“Leave us.”

“Master—” one of the boy’s protests.

“None of you have satisfied me,” he explains, “I’ll break him—myself.”

He was disappointed in us.  Seeing it pisses me off.  It’s the same song and dance.  I watch the master take off his robe completely.  The other boys go out of the room, single file.  I leave as well but when I look back I can see something happening that I don’t like.  It’s something that I’ve always been used to.

Jean is getting all the attention and I’m becoming invisible once again.

The one thing I had that he couldn’t take away from me…gone.


I am pissed the next day.  I’m in the room.  It’s one of the days where he lets us talk to the others.  The only person I normally talk to is one of the boys called Number 3.  Most of the others don’t even come into the main eating room.  They stay locked up in their doors, but a few of them do come in and Boy Number 3 is one of them.  I’m not sure how the numbering goes.  Sometimes I think it may not be in order because Number 3 is on the younger side.  He must be in his mid-20s which is pretty young for how the Master likes his boys.  His immaturity shows a lot because of how talkative he is.

“I hear you knew him,” Boy Number 3 says.


“Boy #9.”

He was talking about Jean.  Of course, he was.  If the numbers weren’t based on when they were taken and more based on the level of importance it would only be a matter of time before Jean was Boy #1.  It probably didn’t matter in the end but when you’re in a place like this for long enough you start to worry about inconsequential things.

“He’s an associate.”

I’m lying of course.  He’s one of my best friends.

“There he is.  He’s beautiful,”  Boy #3 is saying, “They said that he was in there with #9 for hours.  No screaming.  No nothing.  They say that #9 was smiling when he came out.”


“Like the Master made love to him.  That’s what they say.”

I shudder a little bit at the thought.  My mind is going crazy.  He’d made love to him?  Really.

“That’s impossible.  The Master doesn’t make love.  He fucks.”

“I guess he did with the new guy.  I mean look at him.  Wouldn’t you make love to him?  He’s coming over this way.  Oh my god, can you introduce us?”



“Get the hell out of here,” I tell him even more aggressively.

He’s pissing me off with all this ass-kissing.  I was used to it in the real life.  The last thing I wanted was to be used to it here.

He leaves just in time for Jean to come to sit over at me.  He has a dish of food.  It’s nothing but vegetables.  The master doesn’t like us eating any meat.  He says it makes us taste different.  He wants us all tasting natural.  I guess he could taste it off our skin if we ate meat.

Jean’s face clearly shows his disinterest in this.

“What the fuck is this?” he asks dropping the tray.

He seems madder at the tray than me for someone who swore that he would ruin my life.  I guess after all the other boys had gone even harder than I did, he didn’t feel like that mad at me after all.  He looks down at his plate.  #3 had said he was broken and smiling but that wasn’t the case.  The look on his face now showed that he was anything but that.

“Lower your voice before you get us both flogged,” I warn him.

Anyone of these boys would be more than willing to tell the Master that we were acting up.  The last thing I wanted to do was end up as the Hall Monitor for the Master’s visitors again.  It was the worst part of all of this.

“Wow,” he laughs, “Holy shit.  Look at you.  You’re fucking terrified.”

“Don’t you think this is real yet?” I ask, “Or maybe you need a few more of the Master’s lessons.”

He seems to be remembering something.  This shit had to be real, even for someone like Jean who lived in his own reality half the time.  Whatever the Master did to him seems to be coming back into his memory because I can see his facial expression re-adjusting quite quickly as he stands there thinking.

“We need to get out of here,” he whispers to me.

He must have noticed the doors being locked everywhere.  He must have noticed the boys checking on each other.  We policed one another.  He could make a run for it.  He’d probably get far but sooner or later Shade would track him down and he’d spend time as the Hall Monitor getting nutted in with strange dicks at whatever hours they wanted.  Condoms, raw, it never mattered when you were Hall Monitor.  One boy ended up getting an STD and he got kicked out.  Master said the boy was so depressed about disappointing the master that he ended up becoming some alcoholic or something.  It’s crazy really.

“He’ll let you out when he’s ready.”

“I want out now.”

“Leave,” I tell him, “Make a run for it.  Why are you talking to me about it?”

“What’s making you stay?”

I stop.

“It’s none of your business…”

“You love him.”


Jean gives me a hard look, “I’m your best fucking friend Lou. This isn’t some idiot you just met trying to get to know you.  I saw you on your knees yesterday.  Those other boys are afraid of him, but not you.  Not completely, at least.   You love him.  You’ve been looking for love all your life and the one sexy motherfucker that gives you attention, you are bought.  Hook, line, and sinker.  You are just throwing yourself at him.  Even if he’s a fucking bondage cult leader.”

“Watch your fucking mouth!” I say louder than I should before getting quieter but repeating myself with the same angst, “Watch your mouth.”

I don’t know why I let Jean get to me.  Maybe I let him get to me because he was right.  Maybe I let him get to me because I knew that was real.

“He doesn’t love you.  He never will.  You should have seen how he was touching me yesterday when you left.  Kissing my wounds.  So gentle.  Someone doesn’t touch someone like that if they are in love with someone else,” Jean states.

It’s as though at this moment Jean had a dagger and is turning it into me.  It fucking hurts.  No more than that.  It’s painful.

“You’re seducing him.  You’re doing the same thing you always do.”

“Then help me get out.  I repaid my debt for Indigo.  I got my punishment,” he argues, “Help me escape this place.”

If he thought that was all the punishment that he had then he was wrong.  He was absolutely wrong.  I knew the Master though.  All the boys resist at first, then they get used to it, then they start liking it and then sooner or later they become addicted to it.  They become addicted to this lifestyle.  They become so addicted that the door could be wide open and they’d come running back.  They’d come running back even if he kicked them out.

They needed Shade.  They needed him like a drug.

I didn’t need for Jean to get to that stage.

Jean needed to go and he needed to go fast.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Think about what?” a voice states.

Just at that moment, we see someone standing there.  We both turn and notice who it is.  Khyree.  Fuck.  My heart is beating faster and faster.  All of a sudden I’m scared that I’m going to end up where I was before.  I am scared that I’m going to end up in the Hall Monitor.

“What did you hear?” I ask.

“Fuck this piece of shit,” Jean states, “No one is scared of you.”

“Still the same firecracker as you always were, huh hubby?” Khyree asks.

I look over at Jean wondering if they were still legally married of if Jean had managed to get the marriage annulled.  By the look on Jean’s face, it seemed like the marriage was still very legal.  The marriage was still there completely.

“If I was a firecracker I’d be right up your ass when I go off,” Jean throws it back.

I can tell Jean feels betrayed.  He’s not going to let that go.  He’s not going to show how upset he really is with Khyree.  He’s just going to be rude and act nonchalant but just as much as Jean knew me I knew him as well.

We were three roses after all.  One of the petals just fell off but two of them were still on.

“Are you done?”

“No.  As long as I’m here, I’m going to make your life miserable,” Jean warns Khyree.

Khyree rolls his eyes, “I’m not here for you.   For once you aren’t the center of the universe.  I’m here for the master.   Looks like it’s time for you to go back into the world, Louvell.  He wants you to pack your things and leave.”

“Just like that?” I ask.

“Just like that.”

“He’s not even going to say goodbye to me?” I ask, “What if he needs me.”

“He’ll be in contact.”

I’m short of breath at that moment.  Jean looks at me like I’m crazy.

“Wait you get to leave?” Jean asks.

My heart is racing.  I don’t get it.  None of this makes any sense.  He wants me to just fucking leave?  Just like that?  Just walk out of here.

“I need to talk to him!” I demand.

“Your needs don’t matter here,” Khyree tells me, “Leave and go back into the world.  Live your life.  Whatever life you have.  When the master needs you, he’ll reach out.”

“If he needs you,” Jean corrects.

I look over at Jean, “What the hell does that mean?”

“It means that he’s not interested in you anymore,” Jean states crossing his arms and looking annoyed, “Lucky you.”



I get up off the table and storm out into the hallway.  By now my heart is racing.  My mind is going a hundred miles per hour.

I find myself running to the one room that has a light on.  We never came down this hallway.  Not unless we had an invite.  I knew this was his workshop.  This was where he spent a lot of his alone time.  No one was supposed to be down here.  No one was ever supposed to come down here.

As I walk in I am shocked by what I see.

“What the—”

Dolls.  Dolls everywhere.   I walk forward and take a look at them.  They are so realistic.  They are so lifelike. They literally look like human figures molded to perfection.  I take a step forward and see one of the dolls posted up against the wall.  I look down.  It was anatomically correct, except the dick wasn’t hard.  Attached where a limp dick should be is a hard dildo.  I take a look at it and touch it.

It’s so realistic.

It’s so real.

“I told you I collected dolls, didn’t I?” he asks.

“They are so realistic.”

“Sex dolls.  It’s my craft.  You’d be surprised how much people would pay for one of these.  You’d be even more surprised how much men would pay for one of my real dolls.”

He reaches over and touches the side of my face gently.  It’s gentle at first but then it gets hard.  Real hard.  He grabs me by my neck and starts choking me.  I feel like I’m almost going to pass out when I feel his hand up against me.

“Please Master—”

I’m begging to plead.  I know why he’s choking me.  I’ve disobeyed him.

“You shouldn’t be here…” a voice states.

“Please forgive me.”

He lets go all of a sudden losing interest even in punishing me, “It’s time for you to leave.  I’m in no more need of you.”

“You got what you want.  Jean.”


My heart is racing, “Has it always been about Jean.  Is that the only reason you cared about me?  Is that the only reason you kept me around as long as you did?  You wanted to manipulate Jean into coming here on his own free will and submitting to you.”

He grunts, “No.”

I feel somewhat relieved.



“It was about Indigo,” he responds, “When I first laid eyes on him I became obsessed.  I promised to make anyone who hurt him pay dearly.  I intend to keep that promise.  He’s mine.  You see.  I love him dearly.  And I did use you to get the person who hurt him the most.   Jean.  Now that I have him, you don’t need to be here.”

It was confirmation all of a sudden that I was being used and thrown away.  I was nothing to him.  How does one go back to a normal life after this?  How does one live a normal life?  How do I have normal sex again after being pushed to my limits over and over?  I look at the door. A part of me wants to go but a part of me doesn’t.

“I have more to offer you,” I plead.

“Like what?”

I’m desperate to figure something out.  I’m beyond desperate to know.

“Skylar,” I state, “I can help you get him.  He hurt Indigo.”

He seems bored, “Not interested in Skylar.”

“Vick then…”

“Vick wouldn’t leave his son to come to me,” he states.

“He’s sick about Indigo’s death.  He’s in a downward spiral.  I can help him.  I can bring him there.  I can bring him to you.”

“He’d be happy about that.”


He looks over at me at that moment, “Come here.  You offered me something that I will enjoy so I want to share something with you as well.”

He offers me his hand.  This was it.  This was my 2nd shot and all I had to do was get Vick to submit to him.  If there was anyone who would be harder than Jean it would be Vick.  The Master dominated tops before.  That wasn’t the problem.  Khyree was a top.  There was a difference between tops like Khyree and tops like Vick though.  Vick would be his greatest challenge ever and I can see the Master’s eyes light up at the opportunity.

This is building trust between us now.  I can see when he offers me his hand and we begin to walk to the other side of the workshop.  The lights are getting dimmer here.  Down the hallway, I can see something.  It’s a door.

“Do you notice the dolls have changed?” he asks me.

“Are these dolls of—Indigo?”

I recognize the face.  Some were better than others but the further down we go the more realistic the dolls get.

“Amazing detail right?  I spent years perfecting it.  I met Indigo in passing one day.  Literally just saw him from afar.   He must have just gotten with Vick.   They were together but that nervous stage.  He had a glow about him.  It was a glow I couldn’t ignore.  I followed him.  I stared.  I watched.  I replicated him.  I made a sex doll of him and fucked it every night so hard that my white gold came out of the nose, the ears, and the eyes.  It wasn’t enough though.  I had to have the real thing.”

“This one…it almost looks exactly how he looked…the day he died,” I notice.

I touch the one in the door.

“Almost like he was casket ready, huh?” he asks, “It just so happened one of my boys owns a funeral home.  Vick ended up taking the money I offered.  Remember that?   He came to me one night and took the offer making sure no one knew.  I didn’t give it directly to him though.  I let him know it was already paid for with a very specific funeral home.”

I remember how weird it was that he wanted to pay for the funeral.  I remember why he kept saying it.

But what did it all mean?

“What did you do?” I finally ask.

We get to the door and that’s when I see him.  He’s all tied up.  He’s squirming attempting to escape.

But he’s alive.

“Louvell…you remember your best friend Indigo, don’t you?”