The Comforts We Despise, Chapter 7

Chapter 7Very Special

“Please stop following me.”

Adrian wasn’t listening to me. I was headed back towards the saloon. I needed another drink after seeing Aaryn sucking Adrian’s DICK in the backroom.

“She came onto me.”

“Clearly,” I stated, “You know what she was telling everyone. She was saying that you were gay. She told everyone we were lovers. Then a few minutes later she is sucking your dick…with the door open right before I walk by. Clearly she wanted me to see it.”

“See it’s a sick plan of hers. You can’t fall for it.”

“You fell for it!”

I couldn’t believe I was so pissed. My entire night was ruined. I didn’t want to be anywhere near him. It was strange because he was dressed as a vampire as well. It was almost comedic by how he had completely drained the happiness out of me.

He shook his head,“You are mad at me.”

“You think?”

“I’m drunk Quashie.”

“Is that an excuse?”

“Yes! You know why I was late? Do you really want to know?” he asked, “Please let me explain and I promise if you want me to leave you alone after that I’ll leave you alone forever I won’t bother you again.”

“You have 2 minutes,” I stated, “Go…”

“My parents are having trouble in their marriage. It isn’t NORMAL trouble Quashie. My dad was caught cheating and they are getting a divorce.”

“I’m sorry to hear that but that doesn’t have anything to do with you letting her go down on you. So please do me a favor and leave me alone.”

“My dad cheated on my mother with a man.”

My mouth dropped open.

I was shocked.

“Oh my…”

“I didn’t have anyone to talk to about this. Around this time I was having thoughts about men myself. I was having thoughts about you. How could I care about a man when homosexuality was the same thing destroying my family? You don’t understand how lost and confused I was. Then there was Aaryn. She told me she knew how I felt. She suspected we were doing stuff. I told her everything tonight and she said I had to change or else I’d break my mother’s heart…just like my dad did. That was when she offered to…help me…help me forget these feelings I’ve been having for you.”

It was all so sad.

“Listen I understand the confusion. I do…I understand you are scared and afraid but I can’t keep doing this. It’s killing me.”

“Please I starting to realize something. It’s something that I’ve been afraid of. The thoughts that I have been having are all about you. I think I am having feelings for you Quashie. Not sex-buddy feelings. I’m talking about the fact I feel like I’m falling for you…”

Just like that he had dropped the atomic bomb. I felt myself falling apart. For 2 months I’d been waiting for even a glimmer of hope from Adrian and here it was. It was a lot of hope moments after a bitch had her lips wrapped around his dick.

Was he real?

Was this some desperate attempt to save face because he knew I’d be done with him forever?

“Can I cut in?”

I turned to my right in the hallway to see my angel…the angel Jonah. He was like a guardian angel and he looked so beautiful standing there with my exact costume on. He had the gray eyes that seemed to not reflect light from everywhere.

“No…” Adrian stated, “We are kind of having a serious conversation bro…”

“Actually the conversation is done.”

I turned away and felt Adrian grab my hand, “Quashie wait.”

“Don’t touch him,” I heard Jonah state.

He had said it in this quick, shocking manner. I had heard him say it like that before…but he was protecting himself at that time. Adrian had this classic face on that I had never seen. I had never seen Adrian so completely shocked by someone. People were usually really nice to him. Jonah was probably the first person in a long time to be mean to him.

He stood there shocked but didn’t say a word as Jonah carried me away.

It was the first time that I had saw Jonah out in the open even though he had a mask on. It was almost a dream really.

“Nice first impression,” I told him as I followed him.

“I obviously don’t have a lot of friends and I can’t stand people who hurt the few friends that I do have,” Jonah stated very bluntly.

“Where are we even going?”

“Down to the party of course.”
The main party. Pristine’s party.

I felt so protected following Jonah. He was gentle and quiet and awkward but for some reason he made me feel like he had my back. He was holding my hand and he wasn’t hiding it. We walked past people as he held my hand and guided me down to the party.

“You realize you were touching me?” I asked, “When I first met you, you hated the idea of me touching you.”

“It freaked me out,” he stated shaking his head, “I guess I’m ok with it now.”

“Now you don’t want Adrian touching me.”
Jonah shook his head, “He’s a breaker.”
“A what?”

“A breaker,”Jonah stated shaking his head, “I don’t know being alone for so long I had to keep myself entertained. I made up a lot of new words. A breaker is someone who breaks things. He messes things up all around him. It’s not his intention but that’s what he does. He is so into himself that he doesn’t see all the fragile things he walks past knocking them down all around him…breaking them.”

I laughed. Jonah was being serious and it was so cute.

At times he had this childlike innocence. He made up his own slang? It was something a kid in 5th grade would do or something. Sometimes he seemed so mature and other times he was so ignorant.

“You crack me up.”

“I’m glad I make you laugh…is that a good thing?” Jonah asked.

I gave him a friendly smile so he wouldn’t get defensive, “It’s a very good thing…especially when someone I just had feelings for clearly was getting his dick sucked.”

“Get your mind off of it.”

The party was crowded with people as I expected it to be. Truthfully it wasn’t like the other party. This was a lot more crowded. I hadn’t expected so many people to be here. Then I realized a little section was squared away with VIP…or otherwise the area for the biggest Hill asskissers. Up there was Pristine in her black swan outfit and a few of her friends.

Jonah looked over to me, “Have you seen Lauren? I’m still worried about her.”

“She’ll be fine. She’s a tough girl.”

He didn’t look so convinced but he didn’t say anything else about it, “People aren’t as tough as they let on. Look at you.”

“I’m fine.”
“No you aren’t. Adrian hurt you. I know he did.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“You will be. That person you was crying and saying you couldn’t live without…look at you here living. Come dance with me.”

He’d always say things that blew me completely out of my mind.

“Dance with you?”

It was a song playing that had a lot of people coupled up dancing. VSOP by K. Michelle.

“With me?”

“Why not…I mean I know I’m not Adrian or anything.”

I smiled at that moment and dragged him onto the dance floor. I didn’t know what kind of dancing one did with another man at a crowded party like this. All I knew was that when I was around Jonah it didn’t even matter.

When I was around Jonah everything seemed to disappear. And the world seemed to go away. And here I was in my dreams and I was drifting away.

“You know this ain’t an ordinary love. We got so much history in the stories of us. So come on over baby,” I sang loudly as I turned him, “Sing with me.”

He laughed, “I don’t know this. I’ve been living in the walls remember?”
I smiled back grabbing his hands,

“We gon’ light some candles tonight, Very Special

We gonna do whatever you like, Very Special

Got Some henny chilling on ice, Very Special.

Hope you make the rest of my life…

“Very Special,”He finally joined in. It was nice to see him having a good time as he rocked back and forth with me. We weren’t so much dancing together as having a jam fest in the middle of the floor. Luckily the music was playing loud and everyone was having enough fun that we didn’t stand out too much.

Jonah had the most beautiful fucking smile.

Suddenly the music switched up from the mid-tempo song to something a lot slower. The strobe lights had been replaced by steady dark purple lights. I saw people coupled up immediately on the dance floor. I watched as they begun to get close.

“You know this one too I bet,” he said smiling, “You know every song don’t you.”

I did know the song.

“Angels…by XX,”I told him.

“Angels? Wow,”he said laughing, “So this is our song.”

He laughed but he had no idea what this song was about. I had heard the song only once or twice but the sadness and longing in the song made it uncomfortable to listen to. I looked around the room noticing that people were getting close and dancing slowly.

I hadn’t even noticed him coming close to me until he did it. Jonah was very close to me all of a sudden. His hands wrapped around my waist. This time I just listened to the lyrics. I didn’t sing anything.

Light reflects from your shadow
It is more than I thought could exist
You move through the room
Like breathing was easy
If someone believed me

They would be
As in love with you as I am
They would be
As in love with you as I am
They would be
In love, love, love

And everyday
I am learning about you
The things that no one else sees
And the end comes too soon
Like dreaming of angels
And leaving without them
And leaving without them

As in love with you as I am
As in love with you as I am
As in love, love, love

And with words unspoken
A silent devotion
I know you know what I mean
And the end is unknown
But I think I’m ready
As long as you’re with me

As in love with you as I am
As in love with you as I am
As in love, love, love

And all of a sudden I realized what this song was about. It was about Jonah. It was about falling in love with someone that no one else noticed. All the things that you liked about that person no one else saw them. But if they did noticed they’d all be “As in love with you as I am.”

It dug deep. The short 3 minute song seemed to last forever as we made soft circles embracing one another closely.

“That was beautiful,”he stated.

“It was…”

He was looking me in my eyes. Those transparent eyes were able to completely paralyze me. They were so honest and truthful. It was like he really was an angel somehow. There was nothing about his personality that I disliked…except him disappearing.

He was still holding me close even though the next song was more of an uptempo song. I could smell his breath against my face.

“Do you want to keep dancing?” he asked me with that same awkward polite attitude as though he was so unsure still.

I made me smile,“Sure.”
“What is it about you that makes me so comfortable?” he asked suddenly, “And yet more nervous then anyone I’ve ever met in my entire life.”

I laughed, “I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”

“It’s life. Isn’t it? You meet people in life that you know will somehow change your life forever but you just aren’t sure how. Is this person going to be your blessing or is this person going to be your curse. However it’s that invisible force that drives you to that person and you can’t pull away no matter how hard you try. I promised myself I wouldn’t come back here but things have changed from the past.”

“The past you don’t want to talk about?”
“I’d rather forget it. You are here now and we are good.”

I buried my head on his chest. I had forgotten we were in the middle of the dance floor. I had forgotten that I had no idea if this man was even attracted to me or not. All I knew was at that moment I wanted to be closer to him. He didn’t push me away nor did he embrace me. He just allowed me to rest my head there.

“You always smell like cinnamon.”

He laughed, “Do I? I don’t know where that could come from. I love the stuff though.”

It was like pheromones attracting me to him. Could anyone else smell the strong scent of sweet cinnamon coming from him. It reminded me of home. Not the Hill mansion.

“I can smell it all day. It reminds me of home.”

“The hill mansion?”

“No before that. My mother would always cook with cinnamon on Sundays before the accident and before she died.”

“You don’t have to worry about the past anymore.”

He always sounded so wise. He was always so fucking smart.

“Where have you been my whole life?”

“Watching over you…even before we met,” he told me, “I’ve been watching over you and I’ve been watching over Lauren…shit…Lauren…”

He all sudden pushed away from me and was frantically looking around the room. I could tell that something about Lauren had taken his complete attention. He looked like he was panicking a little bit.

“What about Lauren? She’s probably just around.”

“I was planning on coming down here and looking for her. I realized she has been keeping really bad company.”

“It’s not like you can interfere. She doesn’t even know you are still around,” I told him.

“I still have to make sure she isn’t getting into too much trouble. Can I be right back?”

‘ I nodded.

“I’m used to you disappearing on me.”

I was being childish and I knew it. I felt like a child having his favorite blanket taken away from him. I watched as Jonah seemed to hesitate before mouthing off that he was sorry or something. The chill came up my spine when he did it.

As he walked away I noticed Ozzie coming up to me.

“Whose the sexy angel?” Ozzie stated.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I replied shaking my head, “Where have you been?”

“Finding the glass for Aaryn,” Ozzie stated shaking his head, “You know there were like no glasses up there. I was looking around forever! She must have been confused.”
I rolled my eyes.

“Aaryn sent you on a wild goose chase,” I stated crossing my arms, “While you were gone I came to the conclusion that she is the devil.”

“Is that why you were dancing with the angel?”

“You saw that?”

“A lot of people did. You guys weren’t really hiding it. Relax though. Everyone is drunk so it wasn’t the weirdest thing that happened. What was weird was Adrian’s expression when he saw you guys cuddled up in the middle of the dance floor.”
I raised an eyebrow confused.

“Adrian saw that?”

“Yes. I’m pretty sure he was pissed.”
“You two must be back on bad terms,” he stated, “You might want to be easy on him though he is having a rough day.”
“What do you mean?”

“Aaryn happened to him. Somehow she found that his parents are getting a divorce. What is worse is WHY they are getting a divorce.”

“His dad is gay.””

“Yeah how’d you know?”

“He told me?”

“Well he also told Aaryn and that was the biggest mistake he ever made. She told Pristine and Pristine made this huge offer in front of everyone to Adrian. She said he could stay in the mansion and then she said she wouldn’t want his father’s gay lifestyle to rub off on him.”
“Oh my god…” I said shocked.

“Yeah. Then he saw you and the angel. It never saw Adrian look so defeated. Is there something else going on that I should know about?”


I walked away. At first I was looking for Adrian around the ballroom but I couldn’t find him. I wanted to see if he was ok. I could imagine how it felt to have the biggest secret in your fmaily revealed by Pristine in front of her party. Pristine now had what she needed on the McCoys.

As I looked over in VIP I realized that it was just as bad as I thought. She had that grin on her face like she had done something special. Then there was Aaryn right next to her kissing her ass as usual.

I found myself right in VIP more pissed than anything.

“Pristine I need to talk to you.”
She barely looked at me as she was faking a laugh for one of the people in her little crowd.

“Darling give me a second will you.”

I couldn’t take it any longer. The anger was building up in me and I knew it was going to explode if I didn’t confront her somehow now.

I found myself in front of her.

“What is it sweetie?”she asked.

“I have an issue, Pristine.”

“Why won’t you ever just call me Mom?” she stated.

“You aren’t my mother,” I replied, “You have a daughter…one that you don’t see or pay any attention to you. Have you seen Lauren during this whole party? Did you realize that the girl who is kissing your ass terrorized Lauren as well as so many other people every day.”

“Who are you talking about?” Pristine asked.

She was so clueless.


“That is crazy. Aaryn is sweet girl.”
“She’s a racist,” I replied upset that she wasn’t taking me seriously, “She is a bully. I need you to understand that. She was cheating on your son which is why she got the information about Adrian’s parents. Then YOU went ahead and spread that personal information to everyone.”

“You are overexaggerating,” she stated, “Everything is fine. Lauren and Aaryn get along great. I’ve seen it myself.”
“Is everything going ok over here?” I heard Mr. Hill say as he came closer, “You two are getting a little bad.

“Everything is fine,”Pristine stated.

I shook my head almost immediately, “No it’s not. Mr. Hill we are worried about Lauren.”

“Who is we?”Pristine asked before calling out.

Mr. Hill shook his head, “Is there any truth to what you are saying Quashie?”

I nodded, “Me and your son are concerned about Lauren,” I told him.

At that point Pristine called out, “Fine. I’ll call him. Jackie, Jackie!”

At that point Jackie came over. He was in VIP over by where Aaryn and the other younger crowd were. I must have known since he was so close to his mother that he would have run over there relatively quickly. There was really nothing stopping him at all.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“What’s going on with Lauren?” Mr. Hill asked.

“Nothing,” Jackie stated bluntly.

“See,” Pristine stated, “Quashie you are just overexaggerrating.”
“He wasn’t talking about the other son as in Jackie,” a voice said.

The voice was evidently from behind us. I saw Jonah standing there. The world stopped and it seemed like I wasn’t the only one who felt that.

“He was talking about me.” Jonah added.

He was wearing the same angel outfit. Suddenly everyone looking at him and in that same moment Jonah removed his mask.

Pristine fainted.