Syn 3, Chapter 16

 

 

Hell’s Syn

 

Reality is needed

DAY ONE

I would be spending seven days here.  It would be seven days in a cabin and I was so sure that it would have to be hell or something.  It was in the morning when we got back to the cabin.  I was pretty sure all the others were probably asleep or something.

I flashed back at my life the entire time we were driving in the car back.

How did I get here?  How did I get into this position?

I had been invited up to the cabin for the weekend by Dani who was the sister of one of my good friends Angelina.  Great I guess.

That was all fine.

Angelina had this new “Thing” going on with my other good friend Khan.  As if that wasn’t weird enough, Angelina used to like Porter at one time but for one reason or another Porter was never interested in her.

That was all fine too…

Now we get to the tricky situation.  Angelina’s sister Dani has a boyfriend.  His name is Quan.  Quan, of course admits that he is actually a childhood friend of mine.   His aunt Athena was a mentor of mine.  She taught me how to be…outspoken.  If I had known then who I knew, I figured Quan would probably be gay.  We were just gay back then, but after all these years he’s still in love with me.

Now we get to the real fucked up situation…

Quan has plotted through and through to break me and my boyfriend Sampson up.  Now me and my boyfriend Sampson aren’t together because of Quan’s tricky dealings.  Sampson is like best friends with Quan and doesn’t believe a damn thing I say.  Sampson has a new boyfriend named Jamel.  So why the hell are Quan, Sampson, Jamel, Porter, Angelina and Khan all under the same roof for an entire week?

It wasn’t about to go down like that.  No way…no how…

I decided to leave.  I asked Porter, who I could have sworn up and down hated me.  He doesn’t seem so bad now though.  No…he doesn’t seem so bad at all.  He agrees to take me, but we don’t make it anywhere because of a bad snow storm.

The storm gets so bad we have to park the car and hike back home.

We arrive home late…

 

“We should be quiet,” Porter stated as he opened the door after me.  Of course the door to the cabin was locked but Porter being the “ex” bad ass he was managed to open it.

“What the fuck is that?”

There was this dog standing there.  It was growling.

I looked at it.  It was a huge fucking dog.  He looked like some type of miniature horse or something.  He wasn’t growling at Porter either…he was growling directly at me.

I started to back up.

The dog started to approach.

“What the hell, do you have a dog at home?” he asked, “Do you have food or you or something?”
I shook my head.  I had no fucking idea that Dani and Angelina had a dog in this house.  I definitely liked dogs.  I used to have my own dog at a time.  I didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with this dog though.  He kept advancing to me.

Honestly my heart was beating faster.

Porter looked out at the dog calling for it, “Hey, hey…”

The dog ignored Porter.  The dog’s eyes were set on me.  It seemed to be glowing.  It kept growling.  His teeth were gritted like he was going to bite or something.

“Scout!”

Just at that moment, none other than Sampson came into the living room where we are.  He turned on the light to see it was us.  He was just in his sleeping attire.  He looked like he had been having trouble sleeping.   I knew it had to be almost 4 o’clock in the am.  I was covered in snow. We had hiked back to the house for almost 2 hours.

The last thing I wanted to see was Sampson standing there looking at Porter and I.

“Whose hell hound?” I asked, “That shit almost killed me.”

“Can you lower your voice?”

“Can you answer my question?”

“It’s Dani’s dog,” Sampson replied, “I thought Dani said you guys were leaving.”
“Don’t look so disappointed,” I replied.

Our eyes connected.  The tension was still very much there.  All these evil plots started forming in my head.  My face got swollen just from looking at my old boyfriend.  He was beautiful.  What did he leave his new boyfriend upstairs or something?  I still couldn’t believe Sampson had done that to me.  We had been together for years.  How could you just leave someone like that?

Porter surprisingly looked over at him, “We’re snowed in and my car is having trouble so we’ll probably have to deal with it at least until the roads clear up and that may be a while. Are there any extra rooms.”

“There’s only one.  Someone is going to have to sleep on the couch.” Sampson stated.

“Why? We can just share it.”

“It’s only one bed.”
Porter shrugged his shoulders, “We’re grown.  We will manage.”

“It’s a twin size bed,” Sampson replied.

I looked at Sampson.  By the way his eyes were looking at Porter, I could just tell he was pissed.  He wasn’t even trying to hide it. They had their eyes crossed at each other.  Damn.  I thought I was on a damn natural extinction.

“Why do you even care?” I asked him, “Why are you even up?”

“I don’t care.  I couldn’t sleep,” Sampson stated and turned around, “Do whatever you want.”

He started to walk away when Porter said something that seemed to stop everything in space and time.

“Oh, whatever?” Porter suggested in a real succulent way.

My mouth kind of gaped open a little bit when Porter said it. Yeah, this man was full of surprises.  I couldn’t help but laugh.  As soon as I did it the dog…Scout…growled again.  Sampson grabbed the dog by it’s collar.  You would think he knew the dog already.  Hell the dog didn’t seem to have a problem with anyone but me.

Sampson looked over to Porter.  He didn’t say anything.  He just looked and that seemed to say a million things.  God knew what Sampson was really thinking at that moment.

Porter and I did manage to find the room.  I laid down in my clothes and all.  I felt him lay next to me a couple minutes later.  The bed was small as hell, but I didn’t even care…I was way too tired to care.  It had been a long fucking day.

 

 

 

DAY TWO

 

I woke up the next day to growling.  I opened my eyes to see the dog there growling at me from the hallway.  He was looking at me hard.  Porter wasn’t anywhere to be found.  I felt so well rested that I didn’t even give a fuck about the dog.

The dog just looked at me and I looked back at the dog.  Hell hope this wasn’t some type of holy hound or something.   It was really giving me the creeps.

At that moment it was Angelina who walked past, “Do you see the time? Wake up…you slept all day.  Quan made us dinner.”

“Quan?”

“Yeah.  Isn’t that weird?”  she asked, “Food is almost ready.  We are all waiting for you.  Look Scout seems to like you.  He came to wake you up before I did.”

I shook my head.  This was some bullshit.

Being that people were waiting for me, the kind and generous thing would be to probably brush my teeth and wash my face and run down stairs so that no one would be waiting so long.

That would be the kind and gentle thing to do.

I took note of that as I took two hours, bathing slowly, shaving and grooming myself slowly and intricately. I made sure I got every crevice.  They could fucking wait for all I cared.  I didn’t owe anyone anything.

I walked down the steps.

My steps was slow.  It was like some damn dark comedy or something by the time I got down the steps.  I felt like I had just did something horrible or something.

It was amusing to see their faces all around the dining room table as I made my way down the steps.  Angelina sat near Dani and Khan.  There was an open seat beside them.  Then came Porter actually was sitting next to Quan.  Further down was Sampson and oh…his new boyfriend Jamel. There was a seat next to them too.

By the way all of them got quiet when I walked entered the dining room, I could almost tell that they had probably been talking about me or something.

I was used to it.  I felt like I had to say something. All the attention on me.  I always had one of those voices that attracted even more attention.

“I’m back…”

Their faces were priceless.  The only person that seemed a little pleasant about me coming back was honestly Angelina.  Even Khan seemed to look a little on edge at that point.  He must have thought this week would just be a catastrophe.

I didn’t expect anything.  I had to admit, the boy Jamel was kind of attractive.  I could tell Sampson realized how attractive Porter was.  Porter had the sexy light complexion and the bright golden auburn dread hair with those sexy lips.  Porter made Jamel look just goddam silly.  And Porter had everyone believing he was straight, but come on, how many straight guys flirt that hard.

If anything after his little comment, Sampson had become just as suspicious about Porter.  I could tell by how he looked at Porter and then at me when I walked into the room.

I sat right next to Jamel.

“Please…please…can we all just have a good time,” Khan stated, “And get along this weekend? PLEASE?”

I knew he would be the anxious one to break from the tension first.  He had thrown his hands in the air almost as though giving up on the idea right after he presented it.

“Khan what are you talking about?” I asked.

“Yeah, we’ll all get along just fine,” Quan stated almost right after me, “Syn, I’m glad you came back.  You had me worried.  Try the meatloaf…I made it specifically for you.”

He was a tricky little bastard. I looked down at the meatloaf on the table.  Quan had all of them believing he was a good guy.  He had all of them believing he was a decent guy.  He had them all fooled. What type of fuckery is this?

“You can’t get rid of me that easy.”

“What?” Quan stated.

“Quan, Syn thinks you poisoned his food,” Sampson replied, rolling his eyes like he could just read my mind.  He was right, but he was being a fucking smart ass.

“I hate when you fucking do that, you don’t know me,” I replied, “You fucking think you know me.  You don’t know me.”

“SO!” Angelina started out, smiling, “Anyone hear any news?”

There was quiet for a minute.  I was looking at Sampson.  Sampson was looking at Porter.  Quan was looking at me.  It was an awkward situation and I felt like it was just a matter of time before I broke the tension.  I slowly did grab food though, waiting to see what everyone else ate first before I took any for myself.  I knew this week would be one of the most interesting.

Dani was the first to reply to her sister, “That singer Antoinette’s funeral is today.  It’s kind of sad, she was so young and beautiful.”

“Beautiful is an understatement, she was sexy,” Sampson replied.

“The Mariah Carey wannabe?” Porter asked, “I’ll pass.”

Sampson laughed, “Yup…I’m sure you would.”

Porter cocked his face at Sampson, “Yo are you trying to say something?”

“OK!” Angelina stated, “Um…another topic.  Jamel, we don’t really know much about you. We are just a little dysfunctional at the moment.”

She smiled. She was trying to ignore everything. She was just so damn nice. She was doing her Angelina nice thing.  I rolled my eyes.  Good luck on that one.  Khan, of course, the whole time looked like he was about to break under some type of load of some sort.

Jamel seemed shy as he smiled a little bit and shrugged, “What do you want to know?”

“Ooo me…” I stated, “Can I ask you a question?”

He looked over at me, “Um…”

“What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue.”

“Leave him alone,” Sampson interrupted.

I looked over at Sampson. I couldn’t believe he was just getting smart like that.  Quan found it hilarious.  He had this huge smile on his face.  He would have a huge smile on his face.  He seemed to be enjoying this in a way.  What the fuck was he getting out of this?

“No, it wouldn’t bother me,” Jamel stated, “I’m just a little intimidated.”

“What? Why?”

“I don’t know.  I heard some things about you.”

I looked over at Sampson.  It scared me just how long I knew him.  He had been around me for way too long.  The only person who knew me better was his adopted brother T-Boy and he was on the run from the law somewhere far from here.

“Can everyone just chill out?” Khan asked, “Please…don’t get Syn started.”

“What did I say Khan? I’m just sitting here. Jamel, what did you hear about me?”

Jamel looked a little…well no…completely scared.

“I mean, just things.  Just even the way you talk. The way you look.  It’s just kind of intimidating.”

“What kind of things has he done?” Quan asked.

“Why don’t you drop it, Quan, you are instigating,” Khan called him out.

I was kind of surprised Khan called him out.  He was right.  Quan was instigating.  I didn’t know why he was instigating but it was clear that he was.  He wanted to get something out.  I looked over at Jamel.

“Are you going to start speaking?” I asked, “We want to know.”

Jamel looked at Sampson.

Sampson just looked down at his food.

“This is SO awkward,” Dani stated and laughed a little bit, “Geez…it’s like watching my stories.”

“I’m glad you’re entertained,” I told Dani, “Because it’s just starting.  But for some reason someone seemed to push the mute button on their little low budget box.”

A couple eyes jumped up a little bit to full attention. At that point I could see Sampson’s eyes were jumped up as well.  He was looking at me.  Our history was reflected in his eyes.  All the things that he saw were clear here.  Everything that had happened in our past seemed to be right in his eyes.

Angelina raised her hand, “New subject guys…”

Dani shook her head, “Oh…look how Scout is looking at Syn…oh my god…”

We all turned to see the dog looking like he wanted to attack me but was scared something would happen if he did. The old dog was standing hard and strong.

“It’s because he’s pure evil,” Sampson stated.

Porter looked around the table, “That’s kind of harsh.”

“Kind of is an understatement,” Angelina stated, “Sampson, this is my friend.  I won’t let you just say that.”

I looked over at Sampson.  A smile had spread across my face.  I had to be amused.  I couldn’t believe Sampson could sit there and look at me and call me evil after he’d been in love with me for years.  He had been in love with me since high school.  How the hell does one just pop up and say that I’m evil now.

“No.  Now we get the meat of the issue between us,” I stated, “Sampson go ahead.”

“You burned down schools! You poisoned people with laxatives for kicks! You manipulated Byron, Lamont, my mother and you fucking manipulated my brother and now he is fugitive of law because of you.  It took me years to realize you’ve been a poison in my life yourself.  And even after I did that, I thought I was the cure. I thought I could help you…I thought I could save you.”

“AND YOU WERE FUCKING WRONG!”

I was getting worked up. I had to admit.  It was because this was Sampson.  I wasn’t talking to some normal no one off the block that didn’t exist.  No, this was Sampson. Things were different.  He had caught my attention already.  It was hard not to.

“You are cursed.  How can you be proud of that?”

The conversation was now between Sampson and me.  We were in a heated debate and everyone else just watched almost repelled by it all.

“I am a movement!”  I replied.

“How can you think that?” he stated, “No one acts like that anymore.  I realized with Jamel that it was possible to have someone like you without having to break through a million barriers.”

I corrected him, “A billion barriers…”

“I learned with him that I didn’t have to restrain my boyfriend every time we went in public…”

“And don’t forget all the fines,” I stated.

“Yes, fines…you guys want to know the type of person Syn is.  Let’s talk all the goddam disorderly conduct fines I got on your behalf.  Syn trying to set someone right.  Syn trying to change the fucking world, but to what end?  What if people don’t want to be fucking changed?  What if people actually like getting along? Syn always having to fucking express himself! That shit gets expensive.”

I laughed.

Sampson looked heated.  He was standing up now.  His face had turned red.   His broad chest was steady in the air.  You could actually see his chest inhaling and exhaling deeply.

“That’s fine,” I stated, “If the world doesn’t need me, I’ll be forgotten.  I’m sure.  I’m not a famous singer like Antoinette.  A million people aren’t going to be at my funeral.  Hell.  I lucky if I get a funeral. I’ll probably end up dead in a garbage bag.  Probably not even Hefty.”

“Syn I didn’t say I wanted you dead,” Sampson started off… “Don’t talk like that…”

“Let me finish!” I replied.

He probably thought I was petitioning his emotions.  He was upset.  Hell I was upset too.  I wasn’t asking for him to feel sorry for me. That was never what I wanted from Sampson.  I did want his love.  I did want his support.  I did want him to leave the boy Jamel and say that he still loved me.  I wanted all that Jazz.  I figured it was important.  You know.  Real love.  That was what was important.  That is what I wanted, but Yeah, I’ll probably be forgotten.  But at the end of the day I’ll knew one fact…

“Fantasy is what we want. Reality is what we need,” I told him.

Quan looked over at me, “What?”

“Reality.  I’m fucked you know.  Don’t look at me like that Sampson.  I stood up for you when you needed me to.  My life was evidence of the fact that you could be different.  You didn’t have to be what society has labeled you.  You can still be Syn and you can still live.  The same as you can still be gay and you can still live.  You can still be black and live. You can still be different in anyway and live.  Or have you forgotten Sampson.”

“I didn’t forget shit.  I fucking loved YOU!” Sampson screamed out from behind the table.

“Everyone loves their sins until they realize that sometimes there are consequences,” I replied getting up from the table, “And what the fuck is wrong with that dog?”

The dog just continued to stare at me as I got up from behind the table and made my way to my bedroom.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

I spent the evening in the room.  Angelina had came to check on me a couple times and so did Khan.  I told both of them I wasn’t really interested in talking.  It wasn’t really emotion.  I didn’t just want to explode on Sampson like I did earlier.  He wasn’t worth my time.  He wasn’t worth my patience.

Knowing Sampson I was kind of sure I managed to transfer some type of emotion his way.  There was no way in hell he was just a stone cold guy after I had laid all the cards on the table like that.

“That was quite a show.”

I had expected to see Khan at the door but instead it was even scarier.  It was Quan.  I looked at him hard.  I hated him…with a passion.  He had been plotting to replace Sampson by manipulating him.  He made Sampson trust him.

“I don’t have the energy to deal with you right now,” I replied.

I was emotionally drained.  I knew he must have known that.  It must have been the reason that he was up here now.  I didn’t know why even after I disputed love, did it keep throwing its head up.  Why the fuck was Sampson still in my mind?
“You and I can make such a good couple,” Quan stated, “Seriously…all that stuff you said at dinner.  My dick is still hard.  Syn…you are my soulmate.  Don’t you see.  My aunt wanted us to be together.  We are just alike.”

“Alike…you are sneaky and conniving.  I’m not interested in you.”

“I’m interested in you…”

I walked close to him.  My eyes met with his eyes.  I walked so close that for a moment it looked like we were going to kiss but I just stopped, “I’d die first.”

“Am I interrupting anything?” a voice came from the door.

I turned around to see Porter standing at the door.  He had his shirt off.  God damn.  He must have just gotten out of the shower.  His body was something out of a damn porn movie or something.  He had his pants on but it was obvious he just threw them on just to walk around.  They were sloping off his sides.  He had a thick v in his abdomen.  It was pretty deep.

My dick was jumping in my pants.

“Um, yeah, we were talking,” Quan stated, “Aren’t you kind of cold though?  You are all half naked and it is snowing outside.”

I could see how he was looking at Porter.  He probably had a body just like Porter though honestly.  I kind of figured he was wondering why he didn’t come in here with his shirt off so we could compare.

Porter smiled, “It’s warm in here.  It’s hot actually.  Isn’t that right Syn?”

“We were just done talking,” I stated looking back at Quan, “Oh Quan, remember that game we were going to play….well all bets are off.”

I struggled not to throw a “bitch” in it.  Oh he wanted to play.  He wanted to manipulate and act crazy.  He wanted to frame T-Boy.  It was only a matter of time.  I was just waiting to learn more about him.  I needed to know what had turned him into a psycho these years.  I needed to find his weakness.

“But the games just begun,” he stated looking at Porter and then at me, “Watch…game has just begun.”

The way he repeated himself sent this shivering cold vibe into the room.  I knew he had meant to have that effect as well.  Surprisingly Porter went to close the room door.  He closed it behind him.

“What was that about? Were you guys speaking in code or something?”

I looked over at Porter.  I couldn’t figure him out.  How the hell would he accuse me of speaking in code when he himself was one big code?

“Naw,” I replied.

“You don’t mind if I change here right? Dani rushed me out the bathroom.  This cabin has how many bedrooms with only one and a half bathroom?  That is so lame.”

“Why didn’t you use the other bathroom.”

“Sampson was in there.  He had something really smart shit to say,” Porter continued, “How did you ever date that guy?  He said something about me having my shirt off.  Just like that guy Quan just did?”

“They must not like you.”

“Why is that?”

I shrugged.  Porter was playing games.  He knew he was messing with them.  He knew he was messing with me.  He didn’t want to admit it.

“You tell me,” I answered slickly looking back at him.

“Man, I dunno how you dated him.  You are opposites. He’s Mr. Moral.  You aren’t Mr. Moral are you Syn.  I heard what you said at the dinner.  You are far from Mr. Moral.  Ay…you mind if I change?”

I struggled, “Um…no…”

Geez…Porter was really going at it.

He dropped his pants at that moment.  I hadn’t even realized it. The lights were on. I was facing him.  His dick was hanging free to the world.  I immediately turned away looking at a spider crawling onto the floor or something.

Before I knew it, Porter had managed to put on some new drawers and I could at least comfortably look back at him.  He looked just as sexy with his drawers as he did without them though.

“Hey…be careful, you might make Sampson jealous,” he stated and looked down.

I looked down too.

I could see I had a hard on.  Fuck.

“I’ll be right back,” I stated.

I started to walk out but was immediately stopped by Porter.  I could see him next to me in his underwear.

“Why you rushing off?”

“I got to do something.”

“Bullshit.  You rush off everytime I mention his name,” Porter stated, “Why are you still in love with him?  I don’t get it.  He doesn’t love you.  He moved on.  Plus you’re a bad boy and he’s…just…not.”

“So what does that mean?”

“It means you’re wasting your time.”

“Whatever.”

I walked out into the hallway.  My heart was thumping.  He was right.  I still had feelings for Sampson and I didn’t get why.  I could see it coming that Porter would call me out sooner or later. What I didn’t expect was Porter to follow me into the hallway with just his underwear on.

“ Fuck him,” Porter stated, “Really.  You’re a bad ass. That’s sexy. There are some people that don’t mind it.  There are some people who prefer it.  I know I would…”

He sounded just like T-Boy.

Years ago I had made a mistake.  I was supposed to choose between T-Boy and Sampson.  I was supposed to choose between good and bad.  I chose Good.  I chose Sampson.

I looked over at Porter now. What was this?  Was this like the ghost of my choice coming back to haunt me now?

“You think I’m sexy?” I asked him.

Porter looked at me, “Hahaha ok…um…Syn obviously I’ve been giving you hints for the longest time…like…you haven’t been getting them…”

What made him think I hadn’t been getting them.  I just had chosen not to listen.  But here was Porter standing in front of me.  He had stopped me on the damn staircase.  He obviously didn’t give a fuck about someone seeing us.

His hand was wrapped around my wrist.  His golden dredlocks fell down his back.  It curled beautifully and expressively on him.  His caramel skin glistened.

I looked down and that was when I saw it.  His dick…

It was rising in his underwear.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“You can see it.  All the signs are there.  Do you want to feel the signs?”

He grabbed my hand and pulled it down.  Porter had placed my hand on his dick.  He started to move my hand back and forth.  The vibe felt right.  Fuck….we needed to take this back to the room. I knew we needed to move but I couldn’t stop.  I just kept stroking it.

He had a soft dick.  I was stroking it through his boxers though and that obviously wasn’t enough for him or me.  He moved my hand into his underwear.

“I want to hear you say it,” I replied.

He was busy moaning, “Ugh…ok yea. Yeah. I do…damn that feels good.”

“I want to hear you say it…”

“I WANT YOU SYN!”

He was loud.  He was actually too loud because just at that moment it seemed like people just appeared out of nowhere.  I don’t know where they were. They were probably already coming up the cabin staircase.

At first I figured the lights were dim but by the way we jerked away I knew they saw what was going on.

It was Sampson, Dani and Quan.  I knew they were all probably sitting around talking trash about me or something. That had to be the reason why those three were together.  They were definitely the ones I didn’t want to see.

“Wow…wait till Angelina hears about this one,” she stated, “I knew no STRAIGHT guy smells that good and is that well groomed.”

She had walked away.  Quan and Sampson both were speechless. They were just staring as though in a daze.  There was no expression on their faces. There was no…nothing.  Dani had disappeared. God knows where she was going.  It seemed we were stuck in time. The only one that seemed to show any type of reaction was Porter.  I couldn’t understand what his reaction was either.  He seemed worried and embarrassed, but also somewhat excited.  I couldn’t believe Dani though.  I rolled my eyes.  I hated Dani.  Angelina would probably be hurt by it.  She once really liked him.  Hell, she probably still did like him. Porter was sexy.  Hell, he made Khan look like a damn doofus.

Porter just kind of stood there and looked down the steps.  He looked embarrassed as fuck.  I was too.  I literally just got caught with my hands down his pants.

Porter looked over at me, “Fuck it.  You know what fuck it!”

He leaned over and kissed me.  It wasn’t just a regular kiss.  It was a fucking…emotional make out session.  He grabbed me by the back of my head and pulled me close.

Our lips didn’t even get to touch before he shoved his tongue in my mouth.

He attacked my mouth, licking before pulling back to get our lips touching. Our lips smacked as he massaged the back of my head.  I couldn’t help it.  I completely forgot about Sampson or Angelina or Quan or anyone for that matter at that moment. We started to kiss.  I started to pull on his dreds, he grabbed me up from the wall. He was hugging me, furiously moving all around my body.  It was like letting go of something that he held in for a long time.

That was when he did something that I didn’t expect.  It was something that none of us expected. For a moment I thought this couldn’t be right.  Quan had to probably pay Porter to do it or something.  Quan must have been trying to keep the bad blood between Sampson and I.  That had to be it.

It didn’t make sense that Porter was there like that.

“Come to bed when you’re ready,” Porter stated.

He didn’t take his eyes off me.  He licked his lips and backed up with his eyes steady on me like he was hypnotized.  He wasn’t pretending.  It definitely wasn’t Quan’s scheming tricks.

I looked down the steps.  Sampson and Quan were still there.  Hell they hadn’t seen the kiss though.  Sampson looked at me one time and he walked away.

I could see his eyes, even though he didn’t say anything.  He was holding back tears.  I could see it.   It was emotion.  How many times had I cried for him though?  How many times did I hate to see him with that Jamel kid?  I managed it though. Why was he tearing up like that?

Why did I have the urge to still chase him?
Why did I act on the urge?

I started to go down the steps chasing him when I saw the arm reach out and stop me.  It was Quan, “It’s fucking on.”

At that moment, I saw Quan didn’t just tear up and walk way but he had fullblown tears.  How was that even right? The guy who I’d been with for years tears up and walks away, but this guy who I’d never been with is fully crying and threatening me in the same sentence.

 

 

I slept on the couch that night.  I never went to bed.  I didn’t know if I was ready to face Porter.  Maybe he was drunk.  He was acting relatively sober but you never really know.  You never can really tell how a person is.  I just kept seeing Sampson’s tears in my head.  He really still cared.  All that bullshit he was saying about me being evil but he actually still did care. Why would he cry unless he didn’t care.

Then there was the thoughts of Porter.  He was sexy as hell.  He had been flirting with me since Day 1.  It wasn’t a surprise he was gay.  It never was a surprise that he was gay.

I was stuck here in this cottage, snowed in for a week at the least.

Everything was coming out.

It scared me to wonder what was going to happen next.

I had woken up to my horror.

The piercing scream of a female had woke me up the next day.  It was followed by several other piercing screams.  That was followed up by running.

Fear….anger…running…

Oh god. What’s going on? Oh god.

Dani was panicking.  Angelina was screaming.

“Oh my god.  He’s dead! Oh my god he’s dead!” Angelina screamed out.