Chapter 8 CORONATING OF KINGS "Vicious as the tigress may be, she never eats her own cubs," Elle told me as she wrapped me up in comforting cloth, "Jay will forgive you." She had been trying to comfort me since we had come back from the club. It was so hard for me what had happened. We were going to go back on tour by the end of the week, going to Ellis Island, the thing was that Jay was more than pissed at me by now. He didn't return any phone calls and I had no idea where he was staying at while we were in New Jersey. "I think I really fucked up this time," I told her. "It's not your fault. Those guys at the Syndicate must have been planning this for a long time. If they hadn't found a way to blackmail you, they would have done it another way." "True, but they still did use ME to blackmail us." The thought pissed me off that I could be so stupid. I saw the camcorder that night that I spent with Antonio. It hadn't mattered. I just wanted to have sex that night. My dick and my hormones had taken control. Which wasn't too far from where we were now. Elle played with her nails as in deep thought and said, "He must really be...hurt." "Who?" "That guy you told me about. Robbie." "Hurt?! He's fucking blackmailing me! I don't give a fuck how hurt he is. I want him to be more hurt." Elle let out a sigh. I wondered if she liked Robbie. Made no fucking difference cause I knew she would never act on it anyway. No...no she didn't like him. She felt sympathy for him. I didn't understand it at all. "Boys are always so difficult. You always see things one-sided. Perhaps you all could stop this hate if you took the time to see it from the other's point-of-view." I looked at how serious she was about feeling remorse for Robbie. "Bullshit." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rumors spread fast in the industry. See in the industry, if one person heard you are gay, all the music business heard the rumors. Of course, Mr. Simmons said the publicity that I was gay would only help my careers, as long as no real evidence came out that I was gay. The thing was the Syndicate had real evidence that could bury my career. All I wanted to do was sing... I didn't know how to take my mind of the shit that was happening. Nina had called and basically said that Hype was ignoring the whole blackmail situation. Going to the police was not an option to him. He said that we only had to worry about Ellis Island. Mr. Simmons had called and said that I needed to do a photo shoot when we went to Ellis Island. The concert at Ellis Island was supposed to be our biggest one yet. I had the worst feeling about it. The phone rang at 6:00 p.m. and Elle said that it was for me...again. <What...> I said, annoyed that it was more drama. <Hey Adrian.> The voice was unmistakably Eric's voice. A smile spread across my face and suddenly I didn't feel so bad. Eric's voice was always so...it always felt so comforting. I knew that I couldn't help it any longer. Last night, I had fallen for him yet again, but this time even deeper than before. <Oh. Eric! What's up man?> <Ah, I'm cool. Just wondered what you were doing tonight.> <I don't think Elle has anything planned. Just another day to ponder how fucked up my life is becoming.> <Aww. Adrian, don't talk like that. I hate it when you're sad...> <I'm not so sad talking to you.> There was a slight pause as I realized the echo in the background. Elle was listening on the other phone. She was such a sneak. I knew she would probably praise me for telling him that I wasn't sad talking to him, but probably scold me for not telling him everything from the get go. <Well...maybe I can pick you up later and we can do some more talking. Would you like that?> I smirked. <Definitely. But maybe we should just meet at where the bus was.> I didn't want Elle to get too close to Eric. Truth was I didn't trust ANYONE with him. Elle was the type to fall in love with someone like Eric. Everyone was the type to fall in love with someone like Eric. We had met later on that day. It was almost near dusk. The sun was going down and I was waiting by the spot where Eric started to drive up. He was driving his father's car. When he picked me up it felt so right. "Hey." I told him as I climbed into the car. "Hey," He said and reached over to give me a big hug, " The hug felt so good. It was there for a little longer. His cologne was the best smell that I smelt for so long. His arms were rough and exciting. Sitting in the passenger seat of his car as he started to drive away...I felt almost like a couple. "Where we going?" I asked him. His eyes turned around and looked at me, "To the movies I guess. If its ok with you..." I saw how he drove. He was so relaxed and easy on the wheel. He didn't go too fast. He was a smooth rider...VERY unlike Jay and I who found joy in speeding and having accidents. Now that Jay didn't drive anymore, I felt like it was best that I don't drive as much...so that the same thing that happened to him wouldn't happen to me. "Anything you want to do is ok with me," I told him. He gave me a smile and I smiled back. I turned on the car radio that was kind of drumming at first but then as it became clearer I heard the song on the radio. I hoped it would be ours playing again, but instead it was this other song from someone in Inc. Records. It was Ashanti, singing the Rain on Me Remix. Eric changed the station immediately. "I hate that song." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We arrived at the movies by the next hour. Eric said that he used to work at this movie theater and that he had never seen it so crowded. The whole place was swarming with people. A new movie, Catwoman or whatever it was called, was coming out. The whole line of people was lining up for the premiere. Everyone seemed so goddam excited about that movie. I, however looked around at the movie list. I wondered now, what movie I could watch would be boring enough to give me time to talk to Eric. "Hey, can we go see The Village?" I asked. "Again...isn't it that bad movie that you and Jay went to go see back in New York?" "Yeah, but I really didn't get a chance to pay attention to it." He put his hand on my shoulder and grasped it onto me, "Sure, I mean what could it hurt. Anything you want to do is fine by me." He was turning me on so bad by now. Not to mention this dude looked FUCKING great in the outfit he had on. He had on his model sunglasses that he always insisted on wearing so that the fans wouldn't bother him. I loved that the glasses were the same exact tint as his lips. His masculinity seemed to be mixed in a strand of style and importance. We went to The Village show and like I imagined, it was basically empty. The aisles had a few die-hard Shamalan (the director of The Village) fans. The movie hadn't started yet and the little annoying pre-show music was playingýÿÿÿ‚theater was already cold as fuck with air conditioner loudly blowing. Eric wanted to sit in the back, even though he said he had bad eyesight. I watched him sitting down and at first just looked at me. I didn't know what to do. We had come to the movies as friends. It probably would have looked a little strange for us to sit close with the lights of the movie theater on and there being like countless seats all around us to sit in. I didn't know what to do. I left one seat between us, figuring that we could still talk but not look too gay in the meanwhile. In an instant he moved to the seat that I had left between us! "What embarrassed to be seen with me?" He laughed, probably knowing what I was thinking when I left the seat there. I gave a little laugh too, but only felt so nervous when he was this close to me. I know what you are thinking! I shouldn't have been nervous near this guy. I've known him my whole life. But then why where my palms sweaty and my heart was racing in my chest? Suddenly I was lost in the screen, trying to do anything to calm down. I just wanted the goddam lights to dim and the movie to start. Maybe I wasn't going to feel so awkward if we were in the darkness. It was only 5 minutes before a little girl recognized who we were. She came up to us. The LITTLE fucking brat! Didn't she see that I was trying to hook this boy. "VIDA! I have you posters up on my wall!" the little brat started with and then came with her little pink camera, "Can I take a picture?" My face squirmed up trying to smile but I just couldn't. The little brat was fucking annoying me. Everywhere we went there was just another little brat. Eric, of course, had to be the one to fall for her little batty eyes. Of course after we took the pictures, it seemed to sort of break the awkwardness I was feeling. I saw Eric sitting back down, the whole time giving me a smile from his beautiful lips. He wasn't the most beautiful boy. I mean there were a lot of boys that other people would probably say were more model type. Eric was HANDSOME though. I knew that I must have been in love because he was the most beautiful boy...to me. Even those guys at the Syndicate like Robbie and Antonio weren't as handsome to me as Eric. I mean they would all probably win a stiff perfection award, but Eric's beauty was a beauty that seemed to be so more real. While they flaunted their beauty, Eric knew that he had a face to match theirs, but he never seemed to claim it. He was humble...and down to earth. "You're scaring me," Eric suddenly said. "Humph?" "You keep staring at me," Eric said and gave a little laugh FUCK, I thought. He caught me. I looked around the room immediately, jerking my head away from his face so quick that I thought my neck was going to break. I had to change the subject. "Ahh, have you spoken to Hype or Jay?" I let out a deep sigh after saying that. "Yeah. They both are still pissed, about you know..." "Uh huh. We need more communication though," I said thinking about how I was ignored by Jay, "They never really want to talk about their problems." I didn't know what triggered it in my mind. I guessed it was the thing about talking about problems. Either way I felt awkward all of a sudden and I just stopped talking. Eric probably fed off what happened and he too stopped talking. This was turning out into a real fucking mess. It happened far too much between Eric and I. The movie was slowly starting and I could see Eric starting to pay a little attention to it. Shit... "You are wasting your time. It's all a hoax. The monsters are fake..." It was desperate but it worked. "Ahhh, thanks a lot," He said, "You ruined the ending." He grabbed me by my side in the now dark movie theaters. I felt so tickled. I jerked up trying to stop the sharp sensations that were creeping up my stomach causing me to smile. Being tickled felt almost like an orgasm sometimes. It definitely seemed to be arousing in any case. I tried to turn it around on him. I pinned him against his own chair and we ended up both falling off our seats and onto the floor between the rows. Lying on top of him, we both started to laugh. The sensation was over, but now the memory of the sensation had caused us to laugh. We were still kids. I mean we were 18 and all, but we were still kids. I realized that I was the first to stop laughing. He was still laughing, his mouth wide open and his eyes closed. That was when I did it. I leaned over and kissed him. It wasn't a full kiss just a kiss on the lower lip that wasn't very neat. I wanted to hit myself with a fucking heating iron. He stopped laughing. His face had that expression on it again. The blank expression came back. It probably couldn't have been clearer many times that he didn't want to kiss me. I had kept forcing myself on him physically. I picked myself off the floor and sat back in the chair and so did he. We sat there...for so long we just sat there. "Shit, Eric I'm sorry," I told him. I saw him bring his hands to his lips and sort of touch his lower lip, "Its ok, but we have to talk." I was in tears now. I felt so bad. I wasn't sure if it was only because of the kiss though. I was sure there was a little memory about what had happened at the Syndicate and that how I was going to fail in the career and all that. I felt like a fucking girl right now. I felt so insecure. Everything was falling apart and all I could do was make things worse by kissing a guy who didn't want to be kissed by another guy. "Eric I won't do it again." Suddenly he reached over and grabbed me by my head. He pulled me close and kissed me. This wasn't any normal kiss. To me it wasn't at least. He positioned himself close to me and tilted his head, slightly. Just before our lips met, I saw him close his eyes. He opened his lips over mine. He placed the tip of his tongue on the tip of mine, then he made soft...wet circles with his tongue. Then softly, he ran the tip of his tongue across lips. "We definitely have to talk," I said to him. "Maybe here isn't the best place. C`mon. I know where we can go..." He was right. We weren't just regular teens now. We didn't need anymore rumors and especially none that the band members are talking about sexual feelings to one another at the back of a dark movie theater. We had a responsibility now. If it was just me, I probably would have talked to him anywhere, but I knew that what we did now affected our whole staff. It would affect Hype, Nina, Ice, Jay and everyone else that worked with us. I definitely had to say something but we couldn't just do it in the movie theater. I kept thinking about what I was going to say when Eric got up and led me out of the movie theater. First I thought we were going to go back to his car to talk about it, but once you go into the parking lot...you can't reenter the theater. That was more than bullshit, so I knew that it was probably the reason Eric didn't take me back to the car. Eric took me to an employee bathroom. He said that he used to work there a long time ago. He said...he said that he took Damien here once. It was really strange that he was taking me to a place that he had taken Damien. He didn't tell me but I knew that by how secretive this place was Eric had probably had sex with Damien and even probably with a few girls in this employee bathroom. When we got there I watched him washing his face in the faucet and I just stood there. I had no idea how to express myself to him. I knew he was waiting for me to say something though. "You come to this bathroom a lot." "I used to," he said, wiping the water off his face and looking my way, "Haven't been here for a while. Guess I was scared of the memories that I might get here." "Do you have them?" He paused. "No not really. It's strange. I mean, they changed the bathroom around a lot. They repainted the walls. I think it is more because I am here with you that I don't think about the past...I haven't been totally honest with you." I stopped talking, I stopped blinking and I stopped breathing. I almost stopped living for that moment. I just watched. I was amazed at how handsome he was in this light. He was handsome all the time. I just wanted to touch him, but even if he agreed to it, I hadn't brought any condoms. I could take his dick in me again...I wouldn't have minded that at all. It didn't hurt. His dick felt good in me...too good. I wanted his dick in me again, but I guess I hadn't brought the condom because I believed that truly nothing would happen. "What do you mean?" He stood a distance from me which made me wonder things, "The time you kissed me, the day I wrote Life isn't Sweet...honestly, I didn't feel anything. I didn't like it. A lot of gay guys had hit on me, especially the ones that had found out how close I had been to Damien." "And you did nothing with them?" I asked, almost irritated that once again Damien was being mentioned, again by him. "Nah. I was attracted to none of them, at all. When he died, I stopped liking men...the same way I felt before I met him. I don't like men anymore." I felt like shit again. "And what about that night at the Marquis hotel?" I asked. "That was what I wanted to talk to you about," he said and started to walk closer to me, "The feeling that I had that night...it felt like...it felt like---" He was close to me now, I could feel him next to me. His dentine ice breath was against my face. His soft aroma was next to me. His masculine chest and light brown skin was next to me. His hair, which was a brownish-black fell in braids onto his chest. Diamonds sparkled in his earlobes. "---the past," he finished. "You mean. I reminded you of Damien," I said, more stating it then asking it. "Yes," he said, "You reminded me of him, but then again you made me forget about him. Truthfully, when he died, I forgot about love. I figured God was punishing me for being gay by taking the person I loved most away from me. It was what my grandmother said after Damien died. I figured that if I couldn't love Damien...then I would never love at all. Till you came..." "Eric..." I said. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, partly because I expected this was what he was going to tell me and partly because this was what I came to tell him in the first place. "Adrian...you made me remember the feelings that I felt for Damien," he said and paused, "I don't know if I felt these because you remind me so much of him...but I know that every time that I'm with you---" Suddenly we were kissing. Our lips didn't even have time to reach each other before our tongues were mingling in mid-air. I grabbed his crotch area and began to massage it as he continued to kiss me. I wanted it so bad. I heard him give a little moan and then suddenly he broke the kiss looking down to see my hand seriously groping and his dick...his ball, anything that I could reach! He sort of leaned back as I continued to fondle him. His head leaned up toward the ceiling in sensation. All I wanted to do was please him...over and over, just like the day at the Marquis. "Do you have a condom?" I asked him, impatiently, leaning into kiss him before he could even answer. "I didn't think I'd need one," he managed to spit out after I had given a long wet kiss. I whispered curses under my breath. I guess I would have to wait to feel him fuck me. "I'm going to suck you off..." "Ahh ok if you want..." I took his dick out of his pants and very gently ran my fingers over the underside of his cock. It was again...to stress the point...a very GORGEOUS dick. I mean I had seen many dicks, but none of them like his. None of them had the shape or the beautiful color. I dropped to my knees and breathed on his semi-hard cock, blowing warm air gently onto it. He moaned. I could imagine how he felt waiting for me to take his cock into my soft loving mouth, lick it, suck it, slide my lips down over it until I have my her face buried in his bush. Kneeling down between his legs, I took his balls in my left hand and his cock in my right. Squeezing his cock gently down toward the bottom of the shaft, I got ready to suck. I ran my tongue over my lips to get them good and wet. My lips were already wet though and most of the wetness had come from him. I looked at him and saw that his eyes were looking right back down onto me. Our eyes hadn't moved from one another... I opened my mouth just to tease and excite him. I came so close to his dick. I stuck my tongue out again and reached for his cock, teasing him. I loved how he reacted to the tease. He didn't whine but I could see the want in his eyes. Making sure my tongue was dripping wet, I began at the bottom of his shaft and licked upwards, slowly. I turned my head sideways and pretended to take a bite of him, gently setting your teeth into his flesh. I wet him again with my tongue, using my hands to spread the liquid around. He started to squirm in frustration by now, "Suck it..." I ignored him, continuing my lick until I got to the head of the cock. I didn't suck the head though, I began to lick lingering near the hole of the dick. I put my tongue through it, trying to squeeze into it. I had always been complimented on the length of my tongue. "Do you like it?" I asked. "I love it, Adrian. You're making me so horny..." I wanted to ask him if he loved me but I saw his hips sort of move forward, probably trying to shove it in my mouth. I held it a little away and gave him a little laugh. It wasn't going to happen that easily. I squeezed his shaft with my fingernails and saw the clear liquid pop out. I dipped my tongue into it and pulled away watching the long string of cum following my tongue. I LOVED THE STUFF and suddenly the tease was on me. I took the hot head into my mouth completely. I began to slide my wet lips over until they engulfed the entire shaft. I sucked his cock, hard enough to pull a little more of it into my mouth. He was moaning. "Am I doing good?" I asked. He moaned loudly and I felt his hand on my shoulders, "Ohhh yeah! It feels like a cunt..." He began to take control of it. He began to push his dick in and out of my mouth, fucking my face. I watched as he kept putting hid dick deeper into me until it got down into my throat. At first I let out a little gag, but then I started to relax. He started to move faster and faster, moaning louder and louder. I knew he was going to cum if I didn't do anything. I stopped him from fucking my face for the moment. I put my tongue against his torso. His hands roughly slammed against the wall, probably overwhelmed the sensation of coming so close to cumming and being stopped. I slid my lips to the tip of his dick and let my tongue flick against it. I sucked him gently at first and then hard. I moved my hands up and down his shaft. "Take it all in," he whispered to me, erotically. I slid my mouth and hands on his cock, like we were fucking. I pressed my tongue against the bottom of his cock and let the head of the cock slide back and forth against my tongue, hitting the roof of my mouth. I felt him getting ready for climax. He was trying his cock further into my mouth, in a more aggressive way that I had rarely seen Eric. He wanted more of his cock in my mouth. I felt my mouth fill with his hot cum as I continued to suck with the thick cum being implanted deeper and deeper into the back of my throat. My tongue took the cum and whipped it to the back of my throat and then into my esophagus. Then there came the second batch. I held my breath and relaxed my tongue long enough to let his cock go deep down my throat. His cum shot right into my stomach. There was no taste and no swallowing. He kept his cock in for a moment wanting to fuck my throat, he used quick short strokes to the bottom of my throat shooting the rest of his cum deep into my stomach. It felt like swallowing very thick syrup. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cleaning up after sucking him off so much was a long task but trust it was well worth it. I DEFINITELY had a little jerking off material. We didn't even have time to go back to see the rest of The Village. Truth was the last thing I was thinking about was going to watch that fake suspense/slash thriller/slash hoax movie. He was taking me home for the night and I knew that things were definitely different and yet I was still a little confused. The things he said were comforting but also very surprising. He had told me that I reminded him of Damien. Things like that weren't exactly what I had expected to hear. Either way, as we drove I saw him driving with one hand. His other hand was just hanging there until I decided to grab it. He accepted my hand, reluctant at first (probably from surprise) but then relaxing and letting our finger slide between one another. It felt so perfect. I told him how to get to Elle's house on the hill and realized that she was home because the lights were still on. I wanted to take him up on his offer to probably go see his family or have him stay with us, but I knew it was too late. "I care about you," I told him suddenly as he pulled up to his house, our hands still resting inside of one another. He leaned over to me about to kiss me but then asked, "What do you want from this?" I had thought about that as well and hadn't found any answer. I dropped my mouth, "I guess...I guess a relationship. I mean, I just want to be near you a little more. I don't know much about gay relationships...probably even less than you know. I know because of singing...that we can't...." Oh shit. I was stuttering far too much. I didn't want him to hear me like that. My face flushed with red as I looked at the boy that I dreamed of this whole time, finally open to what I felt. It was more than scary. I took a deep breath and realized that only led to me taking another deep breath. It wasn't helping at all. I tried to think of what I was going to say, but I still COULDN'T. My tongue was wrapped around way too many emotions to let on. I was thinking way too much. That was when Eric leaned over and kissed me. Then when our cheeks were pressed together in a warm hug he added, "I care about you too. I know that now." "And yet we still can't answer where we go from here." "I guess we'll take it a day at a time. I learned in the past that there doesn't have to be any labels or any rules. I guess we can just wait and find out where this whole thing goes."