8 months ago
“What do you want most in life Coy?”
“To be loved.”
“To find love?”
“I suppose. More like I want to be loved by the most people in the shortest amount of time,” I explained to him, “Like Jesus.”
I’m sitting on Dr. Grady’s couch. He loves to play these Jedi mind tricks with me. I’m drawing as he talks to me. He wants me to draw whatever comes to mind. I guess it’s supposed to be therapy. I’m not sure what I need therapy for though. I have no idea.
“You wouldn’t be comparing yourself to Jesus, would you Coy?”
I smile, “Oh yes. Yes, I am.”
He gets uncomfortable in his seat. I think he’s a religious person even though he doesn’t talk to me about that necessarily. It’s OK because I’m a religious person as well. I’m one of the most religious people actually because I’m probably the most like Jesus.
“Coy. Do you understand how it may seem vain and somewhat egotistical to say things like that?”
“Didn’t Jesus want us to be in his image?”
“Then I guess I’m right and you’re wrong. It’s OK Dr. Grady. It’s OK to be wrong every once in a while. That’s what makes you human. One day you’ll be more like Jesus.”
I am certain I just made his day. I smile over at the doctor. He was supposed to be treating me and look at that, I was here treating him instead. I watch him write something on the notepad. I’m not sure what it is but he seems intent on writing it. I had to have said something great. I had to have said something that just straight up blew his mind. That happens to me from time to time when I speak. I can’t help being amazing.
“Coy, do you think your need to be loved and cherished comes from your childhood abuse?”
“What childhood abuse?”
Maybe he had the wrong file.
“Well your father, Coy. The things he did.”
“My father loved me,” I’m confused even further, “He hugged me all the time. He was affectionate.”
There is a pause. An uncomfortable pause. More shuffling. Dr. Grady was my favorite even when though I didn’t think he was that good at his job. He should have done more research.
“Coy your father was convicted of raping you…”
I twitch a little bit. I don’t’ know where it comes from. He doesn’t notice it though, so I smile. I turn around and go back to drawing. I wish he had some color. These black and white pictures could use some more color. It was better to make things just a little more interesting from time to time.
The doctor continues to break through the silence.
“How about your mother?”
“She was sweet.”
“After your father went to jail she blamed you. She turned on the oven in the house and left.”
“She loved to bake.”
“She locked you in that oven, Coy. She locked the door, secured it with tape. If it wasn’t for your neighbors…”
“It was an accident,” I explain to him, “Listen everything’s fine. It’s all old anyway. My parents loved me. You know?”
“Coy…you need to confront your past if you want to move forward in a healthy and productive way. In your past.”
“If you don’t stop talking about my past I’m going to rip your esophagus out with your teeth.”
There is a pause.
Dr. Grady gets up, “Coy what did you just say to me?”
I don’t respond.
We are interrupted at that time. There is a knock on the door. Dr. Grady takes a minute to get himself together and then opens the door. A boy walks in at that moment. It’s one of the volunteers.
“Sir, you have an emergency call. Syn Clinton saran wrapped all the toilets on the 2nd floor…”
Dr. Grady looks at the volunteer. He looks at me.
“Coy we’re not done with this conversation,” he states.
With that Dr. Grady leaves. He leaves the volunteer in the room with me. The volunteer looks at me. He’s handsome. Really handsome. He’s light skin with pink lips. He almost looks exactly like these boys I follow on youtube. Pretty eyes, thin and ridiculously attractive.
“What’s your name?”
“Gem. I should probably leave you to your work.”
I stop him, “Why? Come drink some wine with me.”
I lift up my cup. Gem looks in the cup.
“Don’t worry. I can turn water into wine.”
I’m charming I believe. I’m charming because he decides to sit and grab a cup of water and have a conversation with me.
“Just like Jesus huh?” he asks.
He gets me.
I’m in the kitchen. They have a professional chef in here. When I walk in I see Jericho. He looks good enough to eat. As soon as he sees me I can tell he gets uncomfortable. He was saying something to the chef but then stops talking almost immediately. Then his eyes hit the ground.
“Everything OK?” I ask him.
He doesn’t smile. He starts walking away but I follow him all the way to the entrance of the kitchen.
“You’re avoiding me.”
He looks over at the chef. The chef looks busy but he’s worried the chef notices the way I put my hand on him. What would people think of a grown man with a boy? I hold him none-the-less making sure he doesn’t go anywhere. He leans in slowly and whispers to me.
His voice is so low I can barely hear him, “Now’s not the time. Things are weird around here. Did you tell Topaz what I shared with you.”
“I’m sorry,” I state, “I’m a horrible liar.”
Jericho leans down and thinks about it, “Things are getting weird. The brothers have a following based on family values. Them fighting like this might leak to the public. We pride ourselves on not having any drama.”
“Everything will be fine.”
“How do you know that?”
I smile, “Things tend to work themselves out.”
Just at that moment we hear screaming. Any sort of comfort Jericho has in what I’m saying is gone. I almost can tell exactly where the screaming is coming from. Before long we run into the dining room. My plate is still there. I look over and see Topaz. He’s in the seat next to me. Jericho walks in trying to calm them down but they are so loud that no one hears what Jericho is even trying to say.
“Fuck you man!” Topaz says to his brother.
It’s been two days now since they’ve been arguing and each day it gets worse. Topaz on one side with Copper on the other. Copper’s mouth is loud enough to battle back against both brothers. Ainsley and Jericho are in the middle of all of this. I don’t remember how the conversation started. All I know is that it had something to do with a Youtube video that Copper put out without letting his brothers know about it. Looks like he’d already started to break off from the others.
“It’s not always about the two of you,” Copper argues back with his brothers, “People want to know more about Copper. I’m clearly the black sheep of the family. Maybe it’s time our fans start seeing another side of me.”
“So that’s what all this is about? You’re jealous of the attention that Onyx and I get?” Topaz asks.
“That’s not what he said,” Ainsley states, “You have to listen to your brother…”
“Whose side are you on?” Topaz asks.
“I hate when you get like this,” Ainsley responds.
“Get like what?”
She doesn’t respond. Topaz had a way of being quite authoritative. I think it’s sexy honestly. He wanted to be in charge. He was the oldest. He wanted to make sure all his brothers fell in line. Somewhere between how the vein pops out of his neck or how his muscles tense up as he argues makes me wet in my chair for him. I’m not even looking at his eyes after a point. He’s standing up waving his hand around and I’m looking at his crotch. I’m at the table and I can’t help it. It’s right in my face. God bless the trend of guys wearing skinny jeans. I can see his entire print. He is so upset that he doesn’t notice how close it is to my face. I want to suck the skin off of it.
“Like a dickhead,” Copper finishes for Ainsley.
It’s almost as though he’s reading my mind when he says that.
“Who the fuck are you talking to?” Topaz asks.
No one expects it when he lunges across the table. He grabs him up. He puts him in a chokehold. They are evenly matched as far as strength as they wrestling. It’s probably the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.
“Help me break them up!” Jericho is telling me.
I don’t move. I’m completely stranded in my thoughts watching these two brothers show off this manliness, unlike anything I’ve seen. They rip at each other’s shirts and roll around. Topaz, the older responsible brother who likes to be in charge going up against bad ass Copper and his tattoos. It was beyond sexy. I imagine them naked at that moment, sliding their dicks in each other’s asses by accident. I imagine an incest relationship so sick that Ms. Monroe would go into a deeper coma. I can’t help it. I’m grabbing my dick right there in the middle of the floor as Jericho and Onyx try to break them up.
Ainsley is crying. I don’t know why. I don’t ask.
I just want to join in so bad. All of a sudden I’m throwing myself between the two hugging both of them and I get hit in my mouth.
It’s Copper who hits me.
I spit out blood, “Shit…”
They stop fighting when the first blood is drawn. It’s sexy.
“Look what you did?” Topaz asks before looking at me, “Gem, are you OK?”
“I’m fine. You guys are brothers,” I remind them, “You shouldn’t be fighting like this.”
Not unless you were naked. Not unless I was in the middle. Not unless we were sword fighting.
“He’s right,” Onyx states.
It’s awkward. There is so much tension in the house. It’s best we all separate at that time. Topaz offers to help me clean up. We walk into the kitchen away from Copper. I can tell he’s still steaming. The revelation that his mother was stealing money from them to benefit Copper must have hit them hard. I can tell he’s not over it even when we separate.
We are in the study before I know it and he’s applying ice to my mouth. He’s so upset though that he’s shaking. I grab the ice pack.
“I can do it…” I tell him.
“Can I help with anything?” a voice comes from the threshold.
Topaz and I both turn at that moment and see Ainsley. The poor girl had tears rolling down her eyes still. Cleary she wasn’t used to violence. Her tears are giving her away. By the way Topaz was shaking I had a feeling he wasn’t used to it either.
I’m pretty OK though. No complaints…
“Now you’re on my side?”
“I was just trying to help…” she states.
“Maybe you should go home,” is his reply, “You’ve done enough…”
More tears. The girl literally knew how to cry. I can tell it works though because almost immediately Topaz’s handsome face changes up to a face of concern as he watches her storm out of the room and probably out of the house. I see him lean forward. Every part of him wants to chase her down and stop her. I can see it. So I stop him. I grab onto him.
“Can you put pressure on my lip?” I ask.
It’s a distraction and it works. He looks at the door for a second more but decides against it and turns towards me. He puts pressure on my busted lip.
“I’m sorry this happened to you.”
“It’s not your fault. This is all Copper,” I let him know, “I’m just shocked Ainsley took his side.”
“Copper has a way of letting people feel sorry for him.”
“Is that what it is?” I ask.
There is an awkward pause.
“I’m sure that’s what it is.”
I nod at that moment, “Oh ok. I’m an idiot.”
I sigh a little bit. This would be hard telling him. I didn’t want to hurt Topaz but I had to tell him the truth. Well, not exactly the truth, but something that may sound enough like the truth. Something that might not be right but what if it were? I had to be a good brother. That was my job.
“They seem really close.”
He pauses. He’s thinking what I mean by the comment. I can tell this isn’t something he wants to think about.
“Did you see anything suspicious?”
The answer to that question was absolutely not. But what’s more weird about how Ainsley took Copper’s side was how Topaz reacted when Ainsley took Copper’s side. That mixed with the fact that he looked concerned now was a red flag. I hadn’t seen Ainsley do anything suspicious but I was suspicious of how suspicious Topaz was. Somehow all this suspicion makes sense.
“I really don’t want to say. I don’t want to start any drama,” I state.
He nods, “Of course not. You’re a great guy man. You’re the only one around here that seems to actually care about how someone else feels…”
“Copper might be your mother’s favorite,” I tell him, “Me and you have a connection though. All those letters we wrote back and forth. If you keep it between you and me, you’re my favorite…”
He laughs, “You’re easy to talk to. At first, you were so rude, but I’m glad you opened up to me. It reminds me of how me and Ainsley used to be…”
“She loves talking to Copper. Just like my mom. I don’t get it,” he says shaking his head.
“Sounds like you think they are sleeping around.”
Of course, he didn’t come up with that idea. I actually came up with that idea but he adopted it by now and he’s so lost in his thoughts at this moment that he probably thinks that he comes up with that idea. He’s silent again. He’s thinking. It must be weird having two attractive brothers. In his worst day Copper was more attractive than the average guy and everyone knew that…including Topaz.
“I shouldn’t be thinking like that.”
“Exactly. If there’s someone making you think like that, maybe they shouldn’t be in your life,” I state, “You’re Topaz Monroe. You can have anyone you want. Why stick with a girl that isn’t really giving you that same sort of affection.”
“It’s all I know…fuck, you might be right though. This shit hurts…”
It’s almost physical pain when he sits there. Love can be like that I guess. He sits on the stool. All of a sudden we’re switching places. I’m standing over him.
“I don’t want to tell you this but I’m worried. I think it’s clear after today that your relationship with Copper will never be the same.”
“And maybe it’s time you decide who’s more important in your life. Copper or this girl who you’re concerned might be having sex with him,” I explain, “I know you love her and I don’t want you to make any rash decisions but be smart OK? I’m here for you if you need me.”
“Thanks, man. You don’t know how much that means to me,” he states.
Topaz leans forward. He hugs me. I hug him back. I think he wants it to be a short hug but I prolong it. I let my arms wrap around his slim waist. I let my nose nestle into his neck. I smell him. He smelled so fucking good. I hope he didn’t feel my hard dick up against his inner thigh. I open my mouth slightly as I’m hugging him. What I wouldn’t give to lick his neck until he moaned out in ecstasy. What I wouldn’t give for him to grab me by my ass and sit me on this stool and pound me until we both forgot all the pain we were going through.
“That’s one hell of a hug,” he laughs.
“When you love someone, you show it,” I explain.
He nods at that moment.
“You’re right,” he explains, “I’m starting to trust you so much, so fast. You’re 16 but your smarter than most guys I’ve ever met. I need to ask you a question.”
“Anything. I’m always here for you.”
He pauses, “So Onyx approached me about unplugging my mother…”
“I couldn’t possibly give you any insight on that.”
“I know that is a lot to ask your opinion on. It’s just…this is all heavy. I don’t know what to do.”
“What does your heart say?”
“It says maybe she’ll wake up.”
Welp that didn’t work.
“You know I had a friend who always told me not to listen to your heart. You have to listen to your head. What does your head say?”
“It says the chances of her waking up are slim to none. That’s what all the specialists are saying. We’re wasting money and resources keeping her alive. It says maybe I should look into other options if I want to disconnect from this emotion and move on with my life and my career.”
“I can’t help you figure out what you need to do,” I explain to him, “I couldn’t possibly. But it seems like you don’t need me. Seems like you already know what the right thing is to do.”
“You’re right…I think you have a point.”
I walk out of the room with a smile.
Topaz was on board with getting rid of Rachel. I start up the stairs. I grab some wine out of the kitchen. It might have been Rachel’s. I wasn’t stealing or anything. Honestly, I doubt she would mind. The truth was she wouldn’t be using any of it where she was going.
As I walk upstairs I’m hearing crying. I’m confused by it. There was only one person who would be around this house whimpering. As I approach the room I see a door that looks like it should have been locked. There is whispering in the room.
“He’s over me,” I hear Ainsley saying.
“Maybe it’s time we tell him the truth,” another voice states.
“Wait…no…we said we were going to keep it secret…”
“Topaz is over you. I can tell. He’s about to break up with you anyway,” the voice states, “Maybe it’s just time we tell him that we’ve been sleeping together.”
I’m shocked. Well, this just made things a lot more interesting. Ainsley was cheating on Topaz after all, but she wasn’t cheating with Copper.
She was sleeping with Onyx.